Don’t know how to talk to people anymore.

I’ll wholeheartedly admit that I have been depressed off and on for 4 years now. In that time, I’ve completely repressed myself and probably cut 80% of my social interactions out. The only time I meet new people is through the bar or my friends and it’s almost always a 1 time thing. The other day I was out with my friend I lived with and known for years and absolutely struggled to initiate conversation. I didn’t even know what to say to him in regards to asking about himself and life.

I feel like I’ve become a terrible friend and family member because I just don’t care anymore. I don’t care to ask people what they’ve been up to or how they’ve been. I think I might just hate my life so much that I look at everything pessimistically now and I feel like my life’s just been passing day by day with no meaningful interaction with the people in my life… I don’t know what to do with myself.