What are the Don’ts when it comes to confront ing someone on their behavior?

2 comments

1. The very first one is:

   * don’t confront someone unless a confrontation is necessary.

   * Another one is don’t confront them in front of other people unless for some reason the situation specifically warrants that.

   * A third is don’t start with anger.

   * Another is maybe think of it as Establishing a Boundary instead of a confrontation.

2. Talk in the “I” form not the “you” form. Describe the impact of the other’s behavior on you and thus why you’d like the situation to change. Rather than be accusative, you’re a team together to solve a problem you’re having.

   Related: always talk about their observable concrete actions, never about their character. “Thing X you’re doing is not smart” not “you’re not smart”.