Title. In social situations, I often find that what I say is either ignored, or received rather dismissively. It’s not that people hate me; rather, I think that people just do not respect me. Even when I show genuine interest in other people, and ask questions, people tend to answer rather halfheartedly, with responses suggesting a great lack of interest. Even those close to me (family etc.) do not respect me. Perhaps this is because I’m quiet, or boring. I am unsure.
How can I become someone people respect? It is not pleasant to be viewed as a lesser being, so to speak.
10 comments
Confidence.
That sounds so upsetting that they ignore you/ sounds uninterested when you’re speaking to them. Could you provide some examples? I feel that this is not really a matter of respect…
Being quiet can often cause people to become ‘socially invisible.’ As you point out, it isn’t that anyone dislikes you, it’s just that you don’t impact them in a meaningful way.
Here’s an article I wrote that might help you with this problem:
###[What To Do If You’re Socially Invisible](https://www.reddit.com/r/CPRForYourSocialLife/comments/10tggoo/what_to_do_if_youre_socially_invisible/)
I am the same though which is one of the main reasons why people piss on me. I only talk if I know the topic they are talking about or if I feel relatable. As long as you have people around that respect and accept you for that it’s good. If not then I wouldn’t bother being around them if I were you.
that needs more explanation, usually talking less helps but since you said you’re quiet – the reason is likely different.
There is nothing wrong with being quiet because I’m quiet too. Everyone deserves to be respected and loved. No one can make you feel lesser WITHOUT your consent. I think you need to change how you view things. But stay interested in talking to people and listening to them, that’s a good start.
Keep your head up, keep eye contact, keep smiling, talk to others more often instead, and be a little louder.
Not that it’ll fix anything like it’s that simple, just that it’s all I can think of right now without asking questions
What exactly is your definition of respect in regard to social situations? The way people use the term changes across cultures but having respect for someone and finding them engaging are not mutually exclusive. Rather than looking at it as a measure of respect, it might be more helpful to reframe your mindset to consider the factors that make you engaging.
I know plenty of quiet people who I respect a lot and don’t find boring for their quietness.
I hate to say it, but you may be coming off as annoying or not saying anything relevant to the conversation. I never really ignore people, but when I find myself ignoring someone, that’s usually the case.
I just find that replying to them would be… a waste of energy? I guess. Like, either they’re not saying anything related to the conversation, or they’re just annoying.
I could be totally wrong, but I searched the comments for something like this idea and couldn’t find it. Thought I would put my negative 2 cents in. Sorry, but that’s what came to mind. Best of luck!
Respect yourself. Easier said than done, but start by making sure that you give as much or more consideration to yourself than other people in the room.
George Washington commanded respect when he spoke – partly because he was a big, imposing man, but partly because he didn’t speak much. Try speaking less, and when you do speak, speak with confidence about what you know.
But you can’t win with every crowd. If you’re in a group that consistently ignores you, drop that group.