Hello guys I’m pretty new to this sub but I will get straight to the point as I’m in quite a dilemma. My gf (20) and I (22) have been dating for almost a year now and we’re thinking very serious so she’s getting ready to tell her dad about our relationship. Her dad isn’t aware of our relationship because of strict dad and etc. There are multiple family friends and older people that we know who are aware of our relationship and approve.
Now for my dilemma, one of our family friends (who’s like an uncle to me) talked to me face to face the other day and said that I should know this about my gf. He said that my gfs dad isn’t her biological dad and only 4 people know this information. I’m guessing it’s him, her dad, her mom and her grandpa. He says her mom got pregnant with her and her grandpa pushed her mom to marry her dad but he is not the biological father. My family friend made me swear to never tell anybody or my gf and I told him I wouldn’t. We’re from the same homeland country living in the US but this would mean she’s not ethnically the same as me (this makes no difference to me I’m only mentioning this because the topic of ethnicity is what lead my family friend to tell me this secret).
My gf has gone through familial problems at home and now has a very good and trusting relationship with her “dad”. Shes shared all aspects of her life with me. But there’s a chance she knows this situation and hasn’t told me. She said her mom got pregnant with her and then her dad and mom decided to get married. I personally think she doesn’t know and my family friend told me that she doesn’t know. He says it would destroy her. I simply don’t care who her dad is because this guy stepped up and seems to be a good father figure to her. But one side of me now thinks that my girlfriend deserves to know. It’s eating me up inside and I don’t want to be hiding something like this from her. Any advice or suggestions would be welcome.
What should I do? Should I tell my gf that her dad isn’t her biological father? Or should I reach out to her mom (who I have met) and tell her that I know?
TLDR; My girlfriend’s dad isn’t her biological father and I am unsure whether to tell her or not or how to tell her.
3 comments
Reach out to her mom. Tell her you know, that you’re conflicted, it’s eating you alive and you don’t know what to do. You don’t want to mess with their business, but it’s about you not being truthful and in some kind lying in her face.
I wonder what was the reason he told you this. You should talk to the person who told you and question him. You shouldn’t tell your gf. Biology doesn’t change the fact that her father is her father.
It’s not you place to tell gf it’s her mothers.Reach out to mom and tell her you know. Give her the option to fess up or you will tell her because it is not conducive to a marriage to start off with negative vibes.