Recently, the woman I’m dating said she’s considered having sex, but she’s scared I’m going to leave as soon as we do. She thinks that as soon as we do it, she’s never going to see me again.
She said a guy recently dated her for 8 weeks and immediately disappeared when they had sex. Like, they had sex and after she left his home, she never heard from him again. I was honestly a bit surprised about that, I had never heard of that particular behavior.
I said that I liked her and wanted to keep dating her if we were to make love. She laughed and said she’s heard that before. I replied that, well, all I can say then is that I’m being honest. She said she’s also heard that one before, so I said “well, seems I dont’ have much to say then” and laughed.
Is there anythign I can do to reassure her I won’t run off as soon as we have sex?
—
**tl;dr**: Woman I’m dating is afraid I’ll leave as soon as we have sex because it’s happened to her before. I tried to reassure her that I won’t, but she said other men she’s dated said similar things before leaving her after sex. How to reassure her I won’t run off after sex?
3 comments
What’s wrong with just not having sex with her until she is more secure that this is going somewhere.
It’s only been a few weeks. If you like her, you wait.
If she doesn’t want to, respect that and drop it.
And if you really can’t date her without sex, then be honest with her and tell her that.
If she’s not ready to trust and treat you like your own individual, then she is not ready to date.
You shouldn’t have to make up for the sins of others.
In your shoes, I would give her time if time is what she needs to be ready – but that’s about it. I don’t think you should fall into the trap of trying to “prove” yourself. That’s her own baggage that SHE needs to deal with. It’s not fair of her to put it on you.
Let me just say that she’s clearly thinking about it. If someone is willing to talk about having sex, that person is seriously thinking about it. If this woman likes you and you keep dating, she’ll get to the point where she’ll be willing.
You’ve made promises not to run off, so even if the sex is bad, you’re stuck with her for a couple months.