Is five dates enough to bring up the conversation of what were both looking for?

Obviously if he cowards away from having an open conversation he’s not the one for me.

But is five dates too soon? Just to check in where we’re at?

10 comments

  1. I think this might vary p2p (person to person) but I (37M) would probably be open to that.

    Just curious, how much time was there between dates 1 & 5?

  3. I would ask even before the first date. Why waste time with someone who only wants something casual if you are looking for a relationship?

  4. My fiancée and I became exclusive at 3 weeks, like 8 dates or something. I don’t think 5 dates is unreasonable.

  5. Do what is right for you.
    Personally, I want to know before the first date as I don’t want to waste my time in fuck boys.

  6. Asking, sure.

    Implying your preferred answer, don’t.

    How you word the question is important too. Wording it like “are we exclusive now?” can come off as the latter imo.

  7. it’s fair to ask on the first date even. i think if they get scared off just talking about what you’re looking for that might be a bad sign. id not use the phrase, what are we or where is this going (dont give away your power) but i think asking what they are looking for is completely fair and sharing what you are looking for. be honest with what you are looking for with yourself on your own too.

  8. You mean the thing most people have on their profile?

    Doesn’t that shit usually come up even before a first date?

  9. Five dates may be too late. It’s about what’s comfortable and doable for you. I had a guy talk about marriage and kids to me on the first date. It seemed like a lot in the moment but I was grateful as it opened a lot of avenues for me and promoted self reflection. Don’t shy away from what you need out of a relationship date by what you need. Watch the difference it brings out

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