of course at first it will be hard. if you live in a box, and try to escape, your first instinct will be to retrieve back into your comfort zone after any uncomfortable experience- (think of an animal getting startled after inching out of hiding).
when you become uncomfortable, acknowledge that you will be able to overcome it. when you stay in that uncomfortable position, you will eventually learn that its not scary. just dont retreat. you will only grow if you dont retreat.
comfort isnt a bad thing on its own, but it can serve as a limiter. especially if you havent acknowledged that comfort can be achieved in situations that you currently feel uncomfortable by. it isnt black and white. confidence is a muscle you exercise.
you will eventually feel comfortable in situations you currently feel uncomfortable in if you overcome that barrier and become competent in it.
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Just to expand on this as well, anxiety can stem from the thought of potential future events. For example, if you’re faking it till you make it, then the thought of how to make it, whether that be learning something new or doing something new, can cause anxiety.
The idea is to remain calm, be present, break up what you can into smaller tasks that could be tackled little by little. Don’t be concerned so much about the what ifs of the future.
it worked for me
To a certain degree. The problem I’ve experienced personally from “fake it till you make it”, is that being recognized for those accomplishments gives me a crippling case of imposter syndrome.
I swear I didn’t come in here to humble brag, it just so happens that I was informed today that I was being given a very visible recognition as this years “up and comer” for a company with 15000+ people working for it, and I feel like I must have tricked everybody for them to think I deserve something like that. There’s a banquet and everything where im expected to socialize, and im terrified that people are going to meet me and think “this guy? huh?”.
This is also how babies learn to do pretty much everything.
By far the fastest way to advance.
The further I get in my career the more I realize that nobody knows what to do and it’s a stroke of pure luck that anything actually happens at all.
here s a lot of pushback to the ‘fake it till you make it’ slogan. Personally, I think its hogwash and trying to implement it has been detrimental to me. that said, you seem to more be suggesting that greater experience doing something (e.g. socializing) leads to greater comfort doing that thing. that makes sense and i’d agree. i just don’t see why you need to be “faking a demeanor” to do something uncomfortable.
For me, becoming more confident and social is better described as “emulate until you can innovate”.
If someone is learning to draw, for example, they copy exactly what the experts do, their exact methods and style with some slight variance, until eventually they slowly develop their own way of making art after they have the fundamentals down. The learner picks out art styles and artists they like and then practices until they get it right, and then the move on to making things their way.
It’s an organic process, and some people start experimenting right away with their own unique techniques and some don’t even realize that what they’re doing is distinctive until a while later.
For me, becoming more charismatic it was a lot like that. I just tried to copy and paste what other charismatic people do. These were people who’s style I liked and emulated. It included celebrities as well as people I knew well, such as my father and friends. I think picking those people who you would feel more comfortable being like is an important aspect of learning this.
At times I over did it, messed up, or plain just embarrassed myself. After a couple years, however, not only did I realize I could do it well, but I also had my own style. I had my own unique ways of socializing that I hadn’t learned from anyone else.
Tried it, didn’t work. And people here claimed I was being fake.
Can someone help:
Lack of friends and being seen as a pushover.
Feeling disrespected and perceived as a nerd.
Limited knowledge beyond studying.
Inadequacy compared to others excelling in various aspects of life.
Difficulty in forming strong relationships and people running away.
Feeling incompetent in sports, dating, travel, adventure, startup, and skills.
Being perceived as clumsy and ill-informed.
Daily addiction to pornography.
Wasting time and being lazy.
Physical health concerns related to weight and BMI.
Feeling unattractive to girls and resorting to pornography.
Lack of a proper support system from friends.
Watching a lot of political and ideological content unrelated to career.
Being argumentative and taking controversial stands.
Holding unhealthy beliefs and views on taboo subjects.