This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this but I guess it really hit differently today. Honestly made me pretty sad…The pandemic hit right around a break up so I decided to take the time to heal and focus on myself . I’ve started dating recently again and I got told something similar on a date…by a single woman in her late twenties just like me which I find ironic . I got remarks like “there has to be something wrong with you since you’re still single “ or “ How can such a sweet guy like you still be single ? There has to be something wrong about you I don’t know about “ . I tell them my situation and I get that it can be rhetorical but after hearing it so many different ways it’s starting to make me feel like maybe there is something wrong with me . :/ It’s like the equivalent of “explain this gap on your resume “ . Any advice or experiences to relieve this feeling ?
37 comments
As a woman myself, we say that when someone is ‘too good to be true’, so it’s a compliment! Being single in your twenties, or even thirties, forties,… nothing to be ashamed off. So many good people are single, anything can happen to anyone. You should be proud of taking the time for yourself to heal etc!
nonsense. Don’t pay any attention. Don’t try to battle wits with unarmed people.
There’s nothing wrong with being single in your late 20s. People who ask that question are putting an unrealistic expectation on themselves. Most people don’t even know what they wanna do/ who they truly are in their early 20s. A lot of people are just trying to find someone to tolerate. Not someone who loves and understands them for real.
They sound like they’re just being jerks. I’ve personally never head that and I don’t know any of my older friends, or even my younger ones who would look down on someone just because they’re single in their late twenties.
Not gonna lie, but I am totally pissed on your behalf 😡 firstly, they have no right in “judging” what could be wrong with you when they’re also in the same boat age and singleness wise. That’s a total Karen personality trait for sure!
Secondly, there’s nothing wrong with being single in your late 20s as well. It’s completely unrealistic in this day and age to even begin with. I’m 29 and a single mother, so I’ve got a bit of a double whammy in this case if there’s still a ton of closed minded, self-righteous people like that.
And thirdly, thanks to the pandemic, more of us are taking the time to heal ourselves, break generational curses and put ourselves into better situations either financially, spiritually, physically, and even mentally and emotionally before taking a big step of bringing in a whole other person into our lives.
No, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with us late 20 singles! Don’t let those people and their slights get to you because that’s only giving them power over you to be toxic and manipulative. Stand up for the best self you’ve become and tell those Karen’s to exit stage left and watch the door hit them on their way out. So long as you feel like you’re the best you’ve been so far in your life, then keep that confidence and keep marching forward!
I hope you have better dating experiences in the future and just remember to have fun even if they don’t work out.
Lol. Boring people ain’t got nothing better to do than be in relationships constantly. 🤣🤣🤣
I’m the opposite.
I dont trust nobody that can’t be single..
Your friend is strange.
people are single at all ages for a variety of reasons, it’s totally normal
Some advice on how to handle the “explain this gap in your resume” question:
“I signed an NDA and that’s all I’m allowed to say about that period.”
Also, it’s silly to ponder why someone is single. Like, homie, if the person you’re on a date with right now wasn’t single you wouldn’t be able to date them. Shit happens. Life happens. Too often people jump to the worst possible conclusion they can think of. “She’s single. Must be an axe murderer.”
It’s one of those cases of people overthinking things to such an extreme that they sabotage their own potential happiness. How long someone is single isn’t a good way to indicate anything about them. Just date them and see how compatible you are. If you smell smoke, it’s not always a dumpster fire, sometimes it’s just a barbecue.
That’s stupid talk. People are single for lots of reasons.
Nonsense. Relationships end all the time. The red flags are around why they ended, and how you dealt with them imo.
It’s bizarre that anyone would believe that simply being single would be a red flag that another single person ought to read into as a ‘flag’ when deciding whether to date them. If there were no single people in any age group dating at that age would not exist.
I feel like this is a red flag that exists only in the minds of people who are not dating. When you get these remarks is it from the people you are on a date with (or prospective partners)?
In the U.S. the average age of a first-time bride is 27 and 29 for grooms.
However, *lots of people* don’t get married until they are in their 30s and beyond.
Life is a *personal* journey.
Most people you meet don’t become dates, most dates don’t become relationships, and most relationships don’t lead to marriage. As one adage goes: “Many are called but few are chosen.”
Some people simply don’t find that “special someone” until later in life.
Not many men spent their childhood dreaming about their wedding day.
There was no “biological clock” or sense of urgency for them to settle down.
In other instances, some people actually love the freedom of casual dating.
Not everyone who is in a relationship or married is living their “best life”.
***”The grass is always greener on the side you water.”*** – Neil Barringham
***”Comparison is the thief of joy.”*** – Theordore Roosevelt
***”Dating is primarily a numbers game…. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is.”*** – Henry Cloud
Best wishes!
Yeah, anybody who believes that is an idiot.
Not saying relationships can’t be great…. Buuuut, the idea you need to be in one at all times or something is wrong with you is just very simple-minded and insecure.
A relationship is luck, not an achievement resulting from your intelligence or hard work
That’s what a small group of bitter women project when they’ve been burned and frustrated one too many times by eligible, late-20’s guys that don’t want to commit to them while at the same time their biological clock is ticking louder and louder every year. It’s a sort of panicked-selfishness that becomes a toxic blaming projection onto “man-children”.
Don’t take it personal as it’s their own shortcoming.
As a single male in your early to mid thirties you’ll have MUCH better dating options than when you were in your early twenties (which is when women tend to get more attention). You are NOT on the same timeline and don’t ever be guilted into it. The vast majority of women will not judge you based on that.
I’d take that sort of advice about being single is a red flag, file it under bullshit, and stop taking advice from that person.
If you think being married is a direct symbol of happiness, please go look at my post on asking divorced women if it was worth it LOL better yet go to a subreddit and ask women to be totally honest and ask if it’s worth it to marry Young. Make sure to mention that doesn’t mean they regret their kids that’s not what we’re asking, do they regret getting married before the age of 25. You are going to get a swarm of unanimous comment saying they wish they took some time to discover who they were. I’m single, 30 and spent my entire twenties in the long-term relationship just to get left for a 19 year old. He married her three months later. I promise it’s not something people can understand, but being the soul dictator of your emotions decisions and happiness is one of the greatest feelings a woman can feel
LOL. What other things does your friend claim? It’s very entertaining.
I think if anyone told you that, their doing you a favor. You don’t need that kind of person in your life. If they meant it as a compliment why not just say so? Don’t sugar coat things making it sound like something else, that’s a red flag.
Everyone who is single and everyone who is in a relationship is a red flag…
Your friend is a red flag.
How old is your friend? If they are in their twenties I think that just shows a sign of immaturity. People are not in relationships for lots of reasons, women are choosing their career or they go travelling and rightly so, how is that a red flag, wanting to see the world and to take care of themselves? I certainly wish that I did that and wasn’t tied to a relationship, house. That’s one of my biggest regrets that I got involved in a serious relationship early in life. I think as long as someone is happy, be that in a relationship, single then who cares. The word red flag is useful but sometimes I feel it’s over used
Mhmmmm…Your friend is a red flag 😙
Really?
This is the saddest thing I have read today. There is NOTHING wrong with you except maybe you are listening to people like this.
Remember there is nothing wrong with you, go out and enjoy your friends, family and life in a couple of years you could find yourself married with kids and maybe not. Just please go enjoy, have fun and ignore some of the stuff people say.
I’m gonna go to sleep everyone. I just want to say I appreciate every single one of you reaching out and sharing your thoughts. Community and fellow human perspective is vital. I’m grateful that I was willing to be vulnerable and share tonight. It truly helped me. Thank you family , I wish love and peace for all of us.
It’s a tasteless and shallow generalisation. There’s a lot of reasons for it – I know a few people in their late 20s who have never had a relationship in general, all for different reasons.
Anyone who says this is ignorant and stupidly judgemental .. absolutely take no notice and live your life . Who said we have to be partnered by a particular age ? That would be a fool ..or fools 🙄
There is nothing wrong with being single PERIOD.
How many people waste their lives in unhappy relationships for fear of being alone or « for the kids » and don’t see anything wrong with that always baffles me.
Your friends are idiots at best, idiots AND rude at worst OP. Find better ones.
Being single is a red flag?
Think about that for a moment, please. It’s a catch 22.
The only time red flags apply is when you are single. So that means every single person has this red flag and they all cancel out.
How would you solve this red flag? By dating someone? Then you’re not fucking single anymore now are you?
Just tell them that there IS something wrong with you- you actually have 2 penises. See where that convo takes you….
Preselection bias is real.
I think people who date for other people’s approval are red flags. You’re better off being single, working on being happy alone and eventually finding the right person, than forcing yourself into a miserable relationship just so you can tell people you’re in one. Your friend doesn’t sound very well adjusted.
Lol. Oh the hypocrisy of these women you went on dates with to say that to you. Did you ask them the same thing or tell them the same thing?
There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s ok to be single at any age. It’s ok to start over at any age. Nobody has the same timeline in life. If it makes you feel better, I’m a 37 year old woman who was kicked out of my ex’s house 9 months ago. I had to start over. None of my friends would ever say that to me.
Good on you for working on yourself and healing yourself. Now, go find new friends who are supportive of you.
So what your saying is that it must suck for people who are single because they choose to be, they got divorced, broke up, their significant other died, moved away for career opportunities.
Nah. I think the ones telling you that lie are the red flags
>”there has to be something wrong with you since you’re still single”
First of all, nobody’s perfect, everyone has flaws, so technically there is “something wrong” with everyone. Being in a relationship means accepting that another person has flaws, and them accepting that you have flaws too. People in relationships are not perfect, no matter what image they project on social media.
And that line assumes that 8 billion people know someone as well as they know themselves. But they don’t know them. If everyone knew someone and they were still single, that could be a red flag (if that person wanted to be in a relationship). Typically you have to get to know someone first before starting a relationship.
There is also something wrong with the assumption that everyone in a relationship has nothing wrong with them, but everyone not in a relationship has something wrong with them. Tons of people in relationships are extremely flawed individuals, or it’s a bad relationship, etc. There’s probably more chaos and strife among people in relationships than among people who are single.
If someone is so scared of being alone that they will latch onto anyone for a relationship, that’s a bigger red flag in my opinion.
And relationships end all the time, people dump people, people get dumped, partners die unexpectedly, people just aren’t compatible, etc. Are we supposed to believe those people should have zero time being single? Monkeybranching is not letting go of one branch until they’ve grabbed onto another. It’s done by people who are afraid of being alone, so they use people as a Plan B or safety net, in case one of the relationships fails. If someone has no gaps of being single, and they go uninterrupted from relationship to relationship, it suggests they overlap relationships (also known as cheating or two-timing).
If someone can’t stand being alone, then that’s a red flag. Why do they hate their own company so much?
Typical patter of someone who will settle instead of waiting for who they deserve. Sorry – but **** your friend 🤣