(Throw away)
I love my gf and I’m very attracted to her but I’m not comfortable in our relationship.
It was 100% love at first sight. When I saw her in class I just couldn’t stop thinking about her and looking at her face.
At first I was so proud to be dating her but little by little my insecurities ate my confidence away. She is a standard beauty in our country (hourglass, pale, big eyes,skinny…) she takes great care of herself academically, mentally and physically. She is the full package. She also comes from a wealthy family. I’m nowhere near her level. I’m a good student but I come from a middle class family and I’m not an attractive guy. I’m not saying this to get sympathy, it’s the truth. I have glasses, pimples, a bad sense of fashion and I’m chubby. I’m not obese but you can see that I’m chubby. I don’t know how to help myself anymore. I have told my gf about my insecurities and she has reassured me and complimented me a lot. It isn’t her fault at all. She is very affectionate in private and public, never ashamed of introducing me as her bf, not scared or hesitant about rejecting better guys and is very open about her phone. Sadly I have taken advantage of her openness And have gone through her phones and laptop just to find nothing. I avoid introducing her as my gf for fear people thinking it’s a joke and just feel embarrassed for her for having to be seen with me. I have started fights over nothing and breached her privacy and she still keeps forgiving me and trying to help. I just can’t shake the thought off not being good enough away and I know If the roles were reversed I would not have been ok with her doing what I did. How do I deal with my insecurities without hurting her anymore?
TLDR: I don’t think I’m worthy of my gf and is hurting or relationship.
(Sorry for bad English and sorry if it sounds funny,I was mostly ranting)
2 comments
Dude, you have nothing to worry about, she loves you and only you. Who cares what you look like? I’ve seen plently of good looking ladies with average or below average guys and I think “good on him!” You really need to stop acting insecure and going through her privacy, otherwise she will leave you, as harsh as it sounds, sorry. Don’t worry what other people think! Half the time people are too busy with worrying about themselves, especially in the real world besides school. You are a very lucky young man to have this nice young lady who loves you!
How you’re treating her right now is what’s making you not good enough, not your body. FYI, a lot of women like chubby guys, you’re WAY too focused on weight and might want to get some counselling for that.
STAY OUT of her phone.
STOP ACTING OUT, simply focus on being positive, calm, and enjoyable to be around.
STOP CARING what other people think of your relationship. Their opinions of your relationship are worth less than nothing, stop pretending that they matter. And even if they think, *”OMG how did someone like him get someone like HER?”* they will only assume you must be hung like a horse, to be perfectly vulgar. LOL