About a month ago, I ended things with a guy who I had been seeing for about a month and a half. He was extremely kind, generous, positive, and into me -met his friends, cooked for me, went on a cute little trip together. We got in an argument over something that hurt my feelings, but ultimately wasn’t anyone’s fault. When we were talking it out he had a strong reaction (cried a lot) which at the time made me feel like it wasn’t fair for me to keep dating him if my feelings weren’t as closely matched as his. I guess I had been wondering up to that point if my feelings were strong enough because I didn’t feel an intense crush with him like I’ve had with other people (who turned out to be bad for me anyways tbh). Now I’m going through a phase of missing him and wondering if I’m missing out on a good thing – but I also know if I reach out and it doesn’t work that I’d hurt him so much. Is it bad for me to reach out if I still don’t know how I feel after a month and a half, at the risk of hurting his feelings? Do I leave it and live with my decision or ask to start over?
TL;DR Don’t know if I ended things too soon in a new relationship because I was unsure how I felt.
2 comments
Honestly, you are looking for the rush of a new relationship with a hottie and he is obviously looking for a partner. He told you that you are not in the same space and you agreed on that. Don’t play with his heart. Let him move on and find someone else.
>Do I leave it and live with my decision
Yes.
It’s extremely common for breakup initiators to experience a kind of “seller’s remorse” in the aftermath of a breakup. (Which is why you’ll see a lot of couples break up and get back together. It’s not because their issues have been magically resolved.) The breakup initiator often expects to feel free and happy post-breakup, and when they instead feel lonely or sad, they start to second guess themselves. A breakup is a loss, even when you’re the one who chose to end the relationship. It’s normal for you to feel that sense of loss, but that isn’t an indication that you should try to resume a relationship with that person, nor would it be fair or kind to them.