I’d love to hear your thoughts beyond the *“if you have doubts, don’t do it.”* I’d love to read your experiences and tips to help anyone navigate that relationship.
I don’t have my own kids, don’t know if that changes your suggestions. He’s been separated for a while, has an amicable relationship with the kiddo’s mom and I’m certain he’s over her.
*I’d appreciate advice both from women who have done it and single dads on the sub. Thank you!*
3 comments
Don’t introduce your kids to anyone until they’ve been around at least 6 months and you genuinely see a future with them.
Ask questions if you start dating one person. Ask about what they want for their future, do they want kids? If so how many and do you? Do they want to be a stepmom who actively helps raise your kids or do they want to be more of a fun aunt?
In the meantime decide what you want in a partner, do you want an active second parent or do you prefer to raise them 100%.
You both just need to start out on the same page, go visit r/stepparents and you’ll see blending a family can be super tough.
I did it, we have four between us that live with us full time. It’s great but we were both on the same page about being active second parents and we raise them together.
Please be mindful of the fact that single fathers often don’t have time even for themselves. If you’re not going to be able to uphold planned time together, be prompt in letting him know, and when making plans be decisive and don’t drag out a bunch of maybes. I only sleep 6 nights a week on average so I can have a few extra hours to myself to focus on my needs as an adult human being. Otherwise they’d never be even be considered much less met.
Biggest pet peeves dating as a single father is the whole ” well mayyyybeeee, let me see how I feel, oh idk anymore I want to but I can’t decide. Make the plans or don’t either way he will appreciate your decisiveness and consideration for how rare and valuable his time actually is
I’m married to one. Honestly, my best advice is DON’T. But you sound like you’ve already made up your mind.
Red flags to watch out for:
1. You start providing childcare immediately
2. He’s in a custody battle or starts one as soon as you start playing mum
3. He wants you to commit before you’ve had enough time to observe his children and how he parents