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I relocated recently, and wound up living near some old family friends. I trusted them, even though it had been a few years since I lived near them.
Their son, who is my age, was one of my best friends growing up. However, he played with my feelings, many times. One of the things he did, from when we were teenagers until now, would be to openly brag about the girls he likes.
When we reconnected, I still liked him, but was taking it extra slow. I wanted to make sure neither he nor I was over sharing, because that was what destroyed our friendship last time.
He finally made a comment one night about how his girlfriend from high school (2012) was dating a guy who looked exactly like him, and obviously couldn’t move on from him. It was then I got really annoyed, and sent him a text asking if we could keep our dating lives off the table, because it made me sad when all he talked about was other girls.
He then had his mom call me, yell at me, tell me I was freaking her son out, and there would be no chance of us ever having a relationship. It was quick, sudden, and brutal, and she then told me to stop crying. I never actually ever told him I still liked him.
A year later, this one event still gets to me, and I feel so stupid, and no longer trust my feelings or judgement.
How do I move on?
TL;DR guy I once liked destroyed my trust and had his mom call and yell in the process.
3 comments
An almost 30-year-old man had his mommy call to chastise you for making him uncomfortable?
>A year later, this one event still gets to me, and I feel so stupid, and no longer trust my feelings or judgement.
I’m not sure what it is you think you did wrong here, other than choose a dipshit for a friend.
>I never actually ever told him I still liked him.
But it’s obvious that you did still like him, right? Platonic friends can talk about their dating lives. Friends don’t get annoyed when their friends talk about other guys/girls.
The point being, this has not been a true “friendship” for a long time. So you didn’t lose anything except for a one-sided, unrequited love that you’ve been hung up on for years. Moving on from that is really no loss — it will be good for you. It’s really weird that his mom called you and yelled at you about this. That’s embarrassing for *him*, not you. But fretting about it a year later and being unable to move on is not a super normal reaction, either.
You need to just find a way to move on. Maybe talk to a therapist? Relocate again and start fresh?
I guess you were blinded by..whatever positive thing you saw in him, and maybe nostalgia/childhood memories??
You see the signs now, though, don’t you?
Look out for that in your next relationship