Men who have been cheated on by a long-term girlfriend what psychological effects has this had on you and how does this affect you when you meet other women you potentially could have feelings for?

11 comments

  2. At first trust issues untill you realise that not all people cheat and then you try again

  3. It’s a trauma. It’s a seed that gets planted in your brain’s complex past that you never know how it will affect future emotions and decisions.

    Some people choose to protect that area where the “bad seed” is and never let themselves get into a situation where it touches those memories and feelings. They lash out at others.

    Others just keep repeating the pattern with similar partners in the hope to validate the existence of that bad seed.

    Others will try to hurt others (sometimes by cheating) to validate it.

  5. It makes it harder to trust, and after the dust has settled forced me to look at what happened, why, and what was my part in all of it.

  6. Some residual trust issues at first, but then I realized if I don’t trust, I’ll never be in another serious relationship again. Also, it’s not fair to take my shit out on someone else.

  7. First, trust issues, then even bigger trust issues, then understanding female nature.Then you begin to understand what are the signs of those who are not trustworthy and try to find those rare women who are not sick with these diseases.

  9. Well me being cheated on (baby momma and my brother) and thrown out happened right as COVID started and after being fired so major trust issues, low self-esteem and just a general acceptance that most women are never not looking for the next better option.

  11. It’s made me realize that people and partnerships change, that it is essential that you understand yours well, and that you continuously work on it, and that you continuously evaluate whether or not yours is still working for both of you. And then, if you decide (without needing to cheat or be cheated on to figure out shit isn’t working, because you’re smarter than that now) to discontinue it, it doesn’t reflect on you, just on your partnership and it not being the right mix to continue working, even if it did earlier.

    ​

    There, see.. No need for all the controlling, distrustful stuff. It’s not you, nor them, it’s the mix. Things change. It’s fine! The cheating didn’t hurt me. It wasn’t about me. It just made me better.

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