So this is my first post so please excuse me if I miss out on some of the hip lingo.
I am a 35 year old man married to a 36 year old woman. We have 3 kids that are 18,16, and 12. We have been married to each other twice. We were married just before our oldest son was born (I was 17 and she took my virginity) and we divorced just before my 21st birthday. She left me for another man (married and 30 years older) and he paid for the divorce that I absolutely didn’t want but I felt was inevitable.
I joined the Army and had some relationships but I couldn’t stand to see the position my children were in 6 hours away. I made an offer to my now wife that we should get back together in the best interest of our 2 young children at that time. We remarried after almost 2 years of being divorced and mind you she was terrible about letting me see my children during that 2 years! We conceived our 3rd child shortly after being remarried and that pretty much solidified things in my mind.
We did the normal living and raising our kids but I always questioned if she was only with me for the kids. It has always been in the back of my mind. I believe that she has cheated on me numerous times through the years but she would never admit it. Oh yeah except for the time I was in Afghanistan and she felt the need to get that off her chest.
I say all of this to say that I obviously love this woman. I have just never felt that she felt the same love for me. I do not believe that she is sexually attracted to me and that her loyalty is questionable at best. I initiate sex 100% of the time and she is a very selfish lover.
I feel like I’m at a turning point in my life. I don’t necessarily want to enter the dating world again but if I’m going to do it I feel like my window is closing.
What do you think?
Oh yeah I am family man and I am very close to my kids and her family and I would hate to lose those relationships.
TL;DR
Married 18 years and wife hasn’t been faithful or shown any physical attraction. Kids are older now so should I stay or should I go?
2 comments
>I always questioned if she was only with me for the kids
Well that makes sense, considering you *also* were only in this for the kids. If you think that your kids are now old enough that you can keep up a good relationship with them after divorcing, then it seems like the job of this marriage is about done for both of you. Just make sure you have a plan negotiated for getting time with your kids — don’t assume that they’re old enough to decide to come see you on their own as if they were adults.
🙄🙄🙄 marrying a woman FOR THE THIRD TIME that cheated on you and left you was the most unintelligent decision you could make.
If you wanted to see your kids, isn’t there a court/legal avenue to do so? But diving back into the dumpster fire that is this woman, was just giving your kids an immensely unhealthy and useless relationship as their example for marriage.
and you only did it for the kids – so why were you concerned about romance with her? She left you for a married man (????)
You can never trust this woman – and you should’ve never got back with her to begin. Get divorced like yesterday!