Dear men,
I’ve been facing a challenging situation lately, and I’m curious to know how you guys handle it. There are times when my girlfriend gets visibly upset, emotional, or angry about something that happened, but she chooses to remain silent and doesn’t share the reason behind her feelings. When I ask her what’s bothering her, she responds with phrases like ‘you should know what is wrong,’ which leaves me feeling perplexed and unsure of how to proceed.
I believe open communication is crucial in any relationship, but I find it difficult to address the issue properly when I’m not aware of the cause behind her emotions. I’m sure some of you might have encountered similar scenarios, and I’m interested to learn how you navigate these situations. How do you handle it when your partner is clearly upset but reluctant to communicate the underlying reason? What steps do you take to encourage open dialogue and resolve the issue together?
Thanks in advance for sharing your thoughts!
15 comments
I tell her I know she’s angry but that she’s acting like a child, and I’m not deaing with her till she’s ready to be an adult and communicate.
You are not responsible for your girlfriend’s emotions, don’t let her manipulate you.
If she doesn’t have the maturity to communicate, it’s best to give her space.
Punish her bad behavior with withdrawal of attention.
All men will deal with this when it comes to women. I hate to stereotype but in my experience the majority of women do this. It’s fucking childish to be honest and shitty behaviour in general. All it does is leave the partner/friend in some sort of limbo wondering if they’ve done something. Walking away and leaving them to cool down is probably the best option but honestly sometimes it’s not that easy as its complete childish behaviour. Communication would solve it pretty quickly but they don’t want that.
I’m not going to say the people in question are all toxic and all that stuff because the fact is that the vast majority of women I’ve come across act like this when they’re upset
You should not, in fact, know what’s wrong. You’re not a psychic.
Personally, when something upsets me, I too remain silent or don’t share the reason, but it’s because I’m trying to get distracted from the issue, otherwise it’ll sit on my head for the rest of the day. But blaming others for not knowing why I’m upset? Childish.
If she doesn’t want to open up, don’t make her and give her space, but don’t let her blame you for not telling you what’s wrong.
Respond back “you should know that refusing to communicate is moronic”
If a girl wants to act like a child I’d just leave her to her own shit, she can come talk when she’s ready. I’m willing to be an adult and apologize/make changes but not going to be some kid playing guessing games and bending over backwards for her
> There are times when my girlfriend gets visibly upset, emotional, or angry about something that happened, but she chooses to remain silent and doesn’t share the reason behind her feelings.
I give a very simple and forward “I can tell something’s wrong but I can’t tell what it is, you need to communicate what’s wrong” and beyond that, I act oblivious. When she wants to tell me what’s wrong and act like an adult then we can have an adult conversation about it. If she does that frequently, I will leave. That is incredibly childish behavior and I don’t date children.
You go on with your day like nothing is wrong. Get work done, play games, horse around, whatever it is that you do. She’s going to get more and more upset that you’re not “apologizing for what you did wrong” (she might even get so upset she says it directly), in which your response is simply to let her know that you don’t know why she’s angry, she’s not telling you, and if she’s not adult enough to have an actual conversation about it then there’s no reason for both of you to be miserable. She’s probably going to be even more pissed at that point, so be prepared to walk away. After a while, she’ll finally cool off enough to speak with you about it.
You are not responsible for someone else feeling or acting a certain way. If she refuses to tell you or let you know a way to help, that is her problem not yours.
If this was a regular thing it would be a dealbreaker for me. I cant spend my life with someone that cant communicate in an effective way.
Sounds like my ex-wife. No need to try to decipher her outbursts. She is trying to manipulate you.
Leave her now. Not tomorrow…leave right now. If she asks why you are leaving, tell her she should know.
What is the context here? If say she just found out you cheated on her, or you accidentally broke something she owns, etc. then acting like you don’t know what’s wrong would be dumb and it’d be pretty reasonable for her to say that you should know what is wrong.
If nothing like that actually happened then she’s most likely in the wrong. Can you elaborate on what you eventually found out was the cause of her being upset?
She’s manipulating you. It’s one of those female shit tests.
The way I handle it is by telling her, “if you’re not going to tell me the problem so I can fix it, then get the fuck over it because I refuse to walk on eggshells for you.”
Most men today are too afraid to check a woman, even when that’s what the woman really wants/needs (a dominant masculine man)..
If my wife is upset it goes like this:
– what’s wrong?
– nothing, all ok/ you know what’s wrong
– unless you literally tell me what’s wrong i assume everything is fine and act accordingly, not playing those games with you
And it’s up to her, since we’re together for many years she knows i’m not joking.
Leave her to get over it.
If she won’t say what it is then it’s clearly not important.
All the other comments here telling you to be communicative miss the point – she isn’t being communicative. She doesn’t want to fix the issue, she wants to wear the victim badge.
/u/Low_Leading8547 has it right — until and unless you two grown-ups can have a grown-up conversation, there will be no progress. Is this the kind of relationship you want?