Just want an advice because this guy I just met a few days ago wants me to go to his house on our 2nd date. We have been talking for a week and I have made myself clear that I’m not looking for hookups and he said he’s also not looking for that. I’ve also told him that I want to meet somewhere public but keeps on insisting to go in his house since its more private. He’s been very touchy on the first date like holds my hand, kisses my forehead, puts food in my mouth. I’ve also mentioned to him that I’m a virgin. Is inviting me to go to his house a red flag? That he might just want me bc im…. Should I not go? 😩
37 comments
I’d honestly try and make the date in a public place. If you’re not comfortable with going to his house, he should respect that and if he doesn’t and insists that you do, drop him.
>I’ve also told him that I want to meet somewhere public but keeps on insisting to go in his house since its more private.
Stop seeing this man. If you tell him you wish to meet in public and he says no more than once is a massive red flag.
Look guys never view the second date has hookup. If he likes you and wants to be with you it his way of getting connected to you.
Going to someone’s house for a 2nd date is not weird at all, however the fact that he insisted even after you told him to do something else is a big red flag
Nope, there is only one reason he is pushing you to go to his house. He hopes to intimidate you into doing what he wants or putting something in your drink/food to make you more compliant. DO NOT GO. This is one you walk away from fast.
Inviting you isn’t really a red flag, it’s insisting that is setting off alarms in my mind. You specifically told him you want somewhere public and he responds by forcing you to go to his house anyway? Kinda gross, seems like he said he’s not looking for hookups just to keep you around.
Don’t go to his house. Don’t go to the house of anyone who’s pushing you to go to their house. Don’t go to the house of anyone you don’t know well and trust. Don’t go anywhere with a guy you barely know who’s touching you more than you’re comfortable with. Don’t go anywhere with any guy who’s “insisting” you do anything.
It’s weird and low effort. This is “dating” though.
Creep. Stay away
So many red flags here, where to begin? He’s taking advantage of your inexperience and putting pressure on you… you can’t see this?
Umm… yes this seems like a major red flag. Mostly because you clearly expressed you don’t want to go to his house and he’s not letting it go. Nothing wrong with an at home second date, with or without sex, but you shared a boundary and he won’t stop pushing.
The pushiness and lack of attention to your requests and boundaries is a red flag. It doesn’t matter if his intentions are good, he’s not being respectful, feel free to move on.
If he won’t change his mind despite knowing you’re uncomfortable, please stop seeing this guy, and stop telling men that you’re a virgin so soon. Some of them have this weird fetish with virginity 🤦🏻♀️ Stay safe.
>want to meet somewhere public but keeps on insisting to go in his house since its more private.
He doesnt respect ur wants & thinks his are more important. Stop communicating.
>puts food in my mouth.
Wtf?!
> inviting me to go to his house a red flag
I dont use that term but yes
>That he might just want me bc im…. Should I not go?
Yes & no. Dont reward this behavior. This is coercion.
No
Prolly wants to bang
What everyone else said. Plus, kissing the forehead on the first date? so weird. Creep vibe
Date public place… He’s moving to fast… Bring mace and a don’t cut your nails.
Idk, I lost my virginity at 25 when a guy “invited me to his house”
Don’t go since you’re hesitant.
Your first mistake was telling him that you’re a virgin. He behaves like a predator and if you go to his house, you’re all set for date rape. Don’t see him again.
You already answered your own question, unless you want to risk being sexually assaulted I wouldn’t go if I were you
I would not go to his house on the 2nd date with him behaving like this. And I wouldn’t go to anyone’s house on a first or 2nd date anyways, and I’m a guy.
Yeah it’s a red flag .
Don’t go. He will absolutely try to sleep with you. Just tell him no and stop responding to him. You shouldn’t have to convince a guy to respect your boundaries.
Do not go he wants sex
Leave him. He only wants sex…
So I went on a first date with someone and it went well (or so I thought). It was at a cool restaurant then we went and smoked a little bit and watched a show. Nothing happened sexually at all that night. The second date he invited me to his house “for him to cook me dinner” and I politely let him know I wasnt quite comfortable with that yet, as he lived really far and this would make it difficult for me to get home. I told him id prefer to do something like a museum or the zoo.
He waited a day and send me the “I’m not feeling the chemistry, wish you all the best” text. I was flabbergasted lmao. But my instinct was of course right that he just wanted some 😼 . Otherwise he would have wanted to see me again.
Long story short…dinner at a man’s house is NOT second date material, and he probably is not serious about you, especially if he doesn’t respect your sense of comfort!! Leave him alone.
I think this is just a cheap trick this guy is trying, in first date he did not shown respect, empathy and no girl feels safe with such guy. So by taking you to his house he just want to create the situation where you can’t deny something he is interested in.
And for sure such relationships doesn’t work for a long .
There are two distinct things one is casual relationship ( nowadays very common and popular amongst youths). And other is companionship which comes with respect of thoughts, opinions, likes, dislikes, good and bad ( most importantly) in a person. A complete acceptance. 😊
People that care dont force you to do things . He sounds like he is looking for hookup .
When dating early days you should have the options , but not be forced into one . If he says we can go home or somewhere outside , you decide and after the choice is done is ok with it – perfect . Someone forcing you to go somewhere regardless of you saying no , is not good .
The fact you’re asking kinda sais enough I guess.
The obvious. You shouldn’t be doing anything that you feel uncomfortable doing. Cleary, you haven’t made yourself clear because he’s not listening. I already feel like he’s going to get belligerent when you tell him, from a long distance away of course, that you don’t want to see him again.
It’s OK for him to invite you to his house, but he should be aware of the risk he’s asking you to take and offer an alternative so you can choose based on how you feel about the situation and how risk-averse you are.
Alternatives could include a public library or hotel where you could use an available meeting room for your conversation (not a private hotel room). Instead of offering an alternate location, he could mention that it’s fine if you want to bring a friend along.
I invited my wife to Netflix and chill (before that was a thing) on our first date. She responded by bringing a friend. Her friend left after she couldn’t tolerate listening to us fuck from the other room any longer! But those were simpler times to be sure.
The guy just wants to get laid. If you don’t, then don’t.
🔴 DON’T GO! This guy is obviously onto one thing only. He is also too touchy feely for someone you just met. Move on until you find someone who likes you for you.
Good luck!
Learn to act. Pretend you are a strong independent woman and put guys like this in their place right from the start. If someone touches your hand, tries to feed you or is too touchy from the start, withdraw your hand, rear away from the food they are trying to feed you and give them a look that says; “Not happening!”
Don’t tell them you are inexperienced. Keep them guessing. When they keep asking questions and are fishing to know everything about you.. take the hook out of your mouth and swim away.