Hello. the TLDR is this. We dated for a whole 10 days. her baby daddy is a giant a-hole. She said she wanted to at least be friendly with him and couldn’t date me without him being even more of a giant a-hole. she then said we could still be “friends” and talk, but then proceeded to talk less and less until she perpetually would leave me on read.
the longer version:
I used to work with her. she was always one of the few girls/women that treated me nicely. I quit my job (walmart ogp) and started doing the delivery job (spark). she would interact with me while loading up my car and was even nicer than before. i added her on FB and we started messaging. about a week in, i asked if we were a thing. she said “sure”. I was very happy, since i have only had 2 other “relationships” in my life. we talked on FB till 1 or 2 in the morning some nights. i visited her during her lunch breaks and let her vent about the walmart hell she was dealing with. I told her one evening that she was very important to me, and i could see myself eventually being in love with her. might have been odd timing, but after that, she ghosted me for a whole day, leaving me to think she may have gotten hurt going to work, her ex (that she lived with at the time) may have snapped and hurt her/taken her phone away and a slough of other worst-case scenarios. she finally messaged back the next day and said she wanted to try and make something work with her ex mainly for her kids sake. that, obviously, really sucked for me. but it seemed fishy to me. if she didn’t want a relationship, she could have just said so when i initially asked and avoided all of this. But, i started to realize that ( at least to me), she was kind of just leading me on the whole time and using me as someone just to vent to. which is fine, but not under false pretenses.
I did eventually ask her on FB, since i rarely saw her anymore, if she ever did care about me. she said she did, but…it’s on a messaging app. unless i see her body language there’s no real telling, honestly.
so, she would occasionally talk to me about random stuff. but it felt like she was just replying to tell me what i wanted to hear. and now, every once in a while, i’ll have a dream and she’ll be in it. i really hate that. i don’t want her in my dreams or anything. it just brings it all back up.
mainly, why can i not get her out of my head? and why would she even say “sure” to dating me in the first place?
thank you all for reading.
8 comments
What is your question?
She’s too young for you, she’s not that into you, and you’re not mature enough to date a single parent. There’s no way this would have worked out, hope that helps you move on.
10 days dude ? You seriously need a reality check for a number of reasons, try and look at yourself and this situation critically. Move on and what will be, will be
Seems like you dodged a bullet.. you really want to get involved with a woman with a kid nd still lives with the baby daddy? Cmon bro
You built up a fantasy about who she is in your head, and you are in love with that fantasy. Because you *barely know her* there are all sorts of blanks you can fill in favorably to imagine that she’s the person you want her to be.
Of course you’re obsessed – because the person you’re “in love” with is not an actual person, she’s perfect, and who wouldn’t be obsessed with a perfect person?
Stop engaging with her and move on. You can’t get over someone if you’re trying to reconnect with her.
dude, you’re 36, c’mon.
I think you should focus on working on yourself and (eventually) meeting people your own age. If you’re this hung up about essentially a 10 day fling you really need to do some soul searching
jeez it was only 10 days. you really need to work on yourself lol.