So, I blew up a job interview due to my anxiety and severe nervousness. I literally froze and was awkward as hell. The interviewer even told me why are u so afraid, i dont bite? I was so embarassed ..
I need the summer job asap, I have to work on my social skills and anxiety 🙏🏻 I will soon apply for more jobs, so any tips for looking and acting confident will be appreciated. ❤️
20 comments
1st of all I think u didn’t prepare ur self for the interview.
So u must ev enough information about the job & the company otherwise u will be always struggling.
The stress is something natural on us Good luck next time
Dont just act and look confident, you must have a confident man’s mentality and mindset, this is how you truly become confident, dont just look at how they act, look at how they think.
Posture and clear enunciation.
I think sometimes people are just gonna be nervous about things that matter to them. The more importance you place on a certain event going well, the more nervous you’re gonna be. It’s just normal to feel that way. The only thing for me that has helped is going through it many times until it eventually feels routine. So for you, you might have to go on lots of job interviews before you feel confident in them.
Posture, gait while you walk, cleanliness/clean appearance, good hygene.
Breath slow and deep prior to being interviewed/tested to calm some of your jitters.
Go in pretending like this is the 100th time youve done it. It’s not. It’s all impersonal anyways.
Brw, im autustic, i struggled with all these things.
Im a job hopping truck driver. I dont interview, however when i apply for new jobs, i know i am but a name, number, and series of credentials, and everything is rather impersonal. You likely are too where you apply at.
With all that in mind, i tend to go in with to orientations/driving tests, that i confidently perform what’s asked of me.
When it comes to interviews, dont give obviously canned answers. Examples:
“What’s a flaw you see in yourself?”
“Im often told im too hard of a worker”
It insults intelligence.
Go to the library and find a book about interviewing. The more you do it the easier it will get. Do a mock interview with someone that you know. Best of luck to you.
Right before the interview think/talk about (even to yourself) something you feel really confident doing. If it’s maths give a mini math lecture to you invisible car passenger on the way to the interview. If it’s a sport talk about that etc. put yourself in a mental state of already feeling confident then as you walk in picture that interviewer as a life long friend that you’ve known for ages.
It’s a game. Treat it like a game. I had an interview for a position that had immense competition. I didn’t want the job (personal bs) but got it as my nerves vanished.
Shortcut answer: stop worrying about what others think. Be yourself and do you.
It’s so hard, isn’t it? Keep your feet flat on the floor, good posture. Breathe deeply. And then answer the interview questions.
I am horrible at interviewing, and I’ve said after a question “I need a second to organize my thoughts, please.” I then quickly write down 2-3 words to remind me of points I want to make during my answer, then say “ok, thank you for your patience. . . ” Then continue with my answer.
I ended my career in a pretty high leadership position before I retired, so this strategy worked for me.
As an aside, I ran a training program, and we performed at least 400 interviews every year. I remember once that a young woman was so nervous, she froze. She had done really well answering the first question, but I realized she was a bit overwhelmed. So I said “gee, I need some water, shall we walk over to the water fountain?” We walked down the hall, got some water, I showed her the office, taking the long way back, and we just chatted. By the time we got back to my office, she seemed a lot more relaxed, and we continued on. She ended up being hired, and is a very hard working person, very dedicated.
I would hope others would employ this strategy.
By not caring
The more you care about what people think about you, the more nervous you’ll be and the more you’ll freeze. You have to train yourself to stop caring.
Confidence come with experience. Do workout, learn skills etc all things thing’s will build confidence in you
For interviews wear nice clothes. I feel way more confident when I show up in a suit and tie than jeans and a t shirt and you also look more confident to others.
next time you go out, pretend you are an actor , and you are acting the part of a confident person.
Take it seriously. Change the way you walk, the way you hold yourself, the way you talk, the things you say, the clothes you wear.
And then try interacting with shop people. They don’t know you and won;t know this is not the usual you.
The more you do this act, the more easier it will become. Eventually it will BE you.
I don’t know what job u r applying for but this is what I used to do to prepare:
1- go online and find any many interview questions related to ur field as u can find and make a list
2- sit and interview urself. ask urself all those questions in the list and practice how you’d answer.
3- if u have a resume just be prepared to answer anything you’ve written there .. education, maybe a paper u did , etc .
4- practice introducing yourself, talk about hobbies and small talk like that
5- talk to ur physician and perhaps get a low dose of anti anxiety medication to help u relax
Be prepared and have a good attitude . My 2 cents 🙂
Good luck !
Keep doing it often enough and you’ll learn to relax. It’s natural
It has to be real. People will know if it’s fake and they will call you on it or secretly resent you. I have met a ton of idiots that are completely fooled by fake confidence, so it DOES work. But it is not sustainable, you can deepen a dislike for yourself if you feel like everyone likes that other person you have to pretend to be. It will be more work in the long run.
Start by developing compassion and patience with yourself and disagree with your inner critic more. I get that your inner critic is trying to help, but they can put the hammer down and chill because you’ve got it, it’s okay. If you have to pretend you are being supportive of someone else, do that.
If you have to pretend to be able pass a job interview before you have time to work on this stuff, then lean on your neurodivergence. Find a character in a show you find to be charismatic and inspiring and most importantly natural in their delivery of who they are and pretend to be them for 15 mins for that interview. Every time you get scared remind yourself that you are not you right now, you are that character and they would not be afraid.
Don’t try to be confident, it comes naturally when you stop giving a fuck about shit.
I got beta blockers from my doc the last time I was doing job interviews. Big difference. You can’t just willpower your way out of anxiety and nerves. Because my brain wasn’t in fight or flight, I could actually think clearly and focus on the interview itself.