Went on a great day with a man on Sunday- had a great time/he voice messaged me on Monday saying how he had a great time and I responded saying the same- he’s not texted me or called since Monday…. Should I text him? I’m used to the man always pursuing- pretty 38 year old F- what do I do? Oh tons of chemistry during date… kissing, holding hands etc. Man is in his 50s for perspective.
7 comments
He probably wasn’t as interested or something better came along.
Why? Cuz you are almost 40 lady. Used goods. Nobody wants that. I bet you are fat too. Stop catfishing.
Honey, just think of something you’d like to do and ask him if he’d like to accompany you. If he isn’t interested, you’ll know.
I guess it wouldn’t harm to send him a text to confirm if this is not going further. The thought of rejection is scary but at least you can move on
You’re 38. I’m almost 38 (f) too. Grow up and text him ❤️. Open communication, if not – whatever relationship you’ll enter into will likely fail without it. Don’t worry about rejection. It’s redirection. You’re not old. Who gives a shit. Confidence is what matters. My man is 28. I’ve never dated anyone this much younger than me. Guess what? He’s attentive, loving, consistent, reciprocal, takes care of me, compliments me… In general treats me like a prized possession. If not this man, there will be another!
So weird! I am with you, on the fence about pursuing or wait to be pursued? Tough one. Who really knows? You could do nothing or you could text and say “I thought we had a great 1st date and wondered if I was going to hear from you again?”
I’ve had great first dates and decent initial chemistry with women on first dates and still have not wanted a second date. I didn’t want a second date because of one or more of the following three reasons:
1. She displayed a red flag, or what I thought might be a yellow flag I could possibly live with turned red.
2. I didn’t see a future between us.
3. Someone I was more interested in showed up in my life.
And this has happened to me too. It’s frustrating because it hurts your self-esteem and or leaves you confused because of the mixed signals. If she showed interest and we had a good time, why doesn’t she want to go out again? After going through it a couple of times, it stings a lot less, and you don’t try to overthink it as much.
Another thing, I can’t speak for others, but I’ll share something a bit out of pocket. I usually know in the first 15 minutes if I’m going to want a second date, but I will still try to have a good time with someone even if I’ve come to that conclusion. Why? Further dating experience, being a good date/person for the other person and yourself, giving them the benefit of the doubt if their first impression game sucks, etc.
What’s the alternative? To rudely cut and run? I’d only do that if she was terrible – like insulting, demanding, or something like ignoring me in favor of her phone. To be salty or sulky? So you ensure you both have a terrible time…? Trying to be a good date might waste time and send mixed signals, but it’s respectful, and you don’t have to see the person again if you don’t want to.