Women that have had kids, what’s the biggest unexpected change it bought to your life?

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1. My capacity for love even outside of my kid has grown. It feels like i love everyone else i loved even more now. Like it unlocked a whole new level of emotional capacity across the board.

2. Oh man, uhh I’m not even the same person as I was before them

   I guess the biggest change is I’ve become a lot more chill and patient and less openly defiant of all forms of authority. My just general mood is a less aggressive, less ready to fight everyone mentality

   I’ve really lost most of my capacity to be angry, which is great but frightening too

3. There are a lot of feelings you know you will experience, but can’t understand the degree of it. Love, protection, happiness, worry etc. But those are somewhat expected.

   What was truly unexpected to me was that I can’t watch shows, read news or anything related with a child suffering or dying. Be it fictional or not. I don’t have the stomach anymore.

4. My body changed a lot. I didn’t even enjoy the same things in bed as I did before. Also, I care more about their stupid child drama than I had thought I would. I have never wanted to fight a child until one made my kid cry.

5. The ability to go into “mama bear” mode instantly. I didn’t really think much of it until I had a kid. It’s like a switch just flips and there isn’t any control over it. I nearly swung on my mil for snapping at my daughter when she was only 4 for having her shoes on the couch as she climbed her little self up to sit. In a split second, I am ready to fight anyone and everyone for my kid.

6. I became mature. Really, before having kids I was very immature. Thought about myself and life was “all about me”. I had my kid quite young, unplanned and was a single mother for several years before I met my now husband. During the single parenthood phase I became very mature, learned time management, dealt with adulting things (bills, government documents, etc), and became more physically strong more than I thought I would be. What I loved most was how I became more empathic. I used to be immediately mad at people who test me, but now before reacting, my mind would try to understand where these people are coming from.

   I don’t recommend having kids at a young age but for my case, I was glad I did because it made me the woman I am now and I am damn proud of it.

7. Right now I’m still on maternity leave and my day to day life is wrapped up in their life. I can hardly wait to see how I’ve changed once I get back to work and gain a bit of independence again. For now, I feel like I’m more understanding with people, and that’s about it.

8. New learned sacrifice, patience, and unconditional love- it’s expected to a point but you just don’t understand until it happens. It’s very unexpected. The momma bear saying is so true.

9. I learned to understand the long term consequences of my words and actions. I’m rather emotional and spontaneous in my reaction to situations. I have truly learnt to hold myself back because it has a huge impact on my kids. Kids see black and white and don’t understand adult nuances. Words carelessly said can destroy them.