Advice on my (30M) new relationship with 29F

Hi everyone,

I (30M) started seeing this girl (29F) about 3 months ago. We have a great connection and are compatible in many different ways. Whenever we spend time together or go on dates, we have a great time.

The issue is that she recently graduated from Vet school, and also has 3 pets at home (2 dogs, 1 cat). She works a ton of hours at the clinic, and typically only has 1 day off per week. She absolutely loves animals and because of her pets, she needs a big yard, and is renting a fairly big house and paying ~$3K in rent, which imo, she can’t afford at this time.

She mentioned to me that due to school loans and her high monthly expenses, she is heavily in debt. She can’t really afford a pet sitter to go to her place 5/6 days a week to let her dogs out, so I volunteered to help her out 3-4 days a week. I WFH, and for the last few weeks I’ve been staying at her place for 3/4 days a week to take care of her pets, so she doesn’t have to pay for a pet sitter every day of the week.

The issue is that recently it’s started to feel less and less like a relationship to me. We only really hang out once a week on her off day. I know she has no expectation that I help her out , and she’s very thankful, but she also lives across the city from me , and making the drive and staying at her place for 3/4 days is making it feel like a chore more than a relationship. Keep in mind we’ve only been dating for 3 months. She doesn’t really come to my place anymore (I live downtown) and I feel like it’s almost an expectation now that I go take care of her pets.

How do I go about telling her that I still want to keep the relationship fresh and that this current structure isn’t working for me? I do want to help her out in some capacity as I realize she works a ton and is in a lot of debt, but I feel like it’s affecting my side of the relationship.