My [23M] fiance [24F] broke up with me on orders of her dad [50M]

29 comments

1. I don’t think you do save it, unfortunately. She’s made her choice and the landowner of the family has spoken, it would seem. Do you want to have to be connected irrevocably to a family that doesn’t see you as a person?

2. Don’t save it if she’s gonna blindly take orders from her dad her whole life what’s the point

3. I hope this is fake, because I can’t imagine someone wanting to save their relationship with a racist who throws stuff at them. Anyone would deserve better than that.

4. No she made her choice. Her father love and money means more than you. You’ve already tried and the best thing to do is walk away.

5. Sorry OP, but think of the long run.
   For one, she’s coming from a racist family. She may not be herself, but you’re signing up for a lifelong battle of not being accepted into the family you’re supposed to be marrying into

   For two, the fact that she threw that at you… just no. Nothing excuses that behavior whatsoever. Any signs of domestic violence is a huge red flag. If she’s acting that way now, with her dad against you, imagine what could happen in the future.

   Unfortunately, the system is never in favor of the black community. You may be completely innocent of something one day but her and her family could twist a story and get you into a situation that you don’t deserve to be in.

6. Do you really want kids with a woman whose father will probably reject them for the colour of their skin?

7. The relationship isn’t salvageable. Her father is telling her what to do and she’s listening to him. You really should be grateful to her father for ending this now before you got married and he tells her to divorce you.

8. Nothing to save. Move on, delete her number and live your life.

9. I’m so sorry she behaved that way. But honestly, you deserve better. You deserve someone who will stick up for you. She is not a child, she’s a grown woman who makes her own choices. And her choice was her racist dick of a father instead of you. It’s horrible that you wasted so much time with her, but at least she showed you who she is before you married her.

10. You don’t. She’s made her choice and would likely always choose her father’s wishes over you.

    As much as it sucks, you need to move on. Arrange to have her items returned to her, making sure to document everything.

11. unfortunately. She’s made her choice and the landowner of the family has spoken, it would seem.

12. What is there to save? She’s not ready to be an adult.

13. Oh hun… No. No
    NO. No. You may love Gwen but she loves her daddies money more.

    NTA. Find a person who’s family isn’t racist or gold digging.

14. There’s no saving it. She doesn’t want to be with you, for whatever reason.

15. Sorry, Miles! That is heartbreaking I know. I’m going to say something that probably won’t hit well for you, but You will be better off without Gwen in the long run. She is clearly weak and easily controlled, and also abusive! (Throwing a glass at you!) Mourn your loss and move on in time. If she changes her mind (bet she will), remember the glass!

16. You want her to be different than she is. That’s already problematic. She has told you her decision; if you respect her, you’ll respect her decision.

17. You don’t. She loves/fears her dad more than she loves you. She has proven that she will not thwart her father in any way. If you managed to get married to her, her father would still call the shots. She is on a leash, willingly.

    Sorry but you are better off without her. You deserve to have someone that will fight for you, be in your corner against all comers. She is not the one.

18. You don’t. She never had her father’s support… she clearly has issues, but they are not yours to fix. That relationship will only ruin you… I cannot comment on the racist part, it is not my place to do so. Though, I cannot imagine myself doing what she did to you, even if i didn’t love the said person. You might love things about her, but your fiance does not deserve your love. I hope you find someone who does.

19. Don’t save it & you’re better off. You’d be the 3rd wheel in your own marriage. Save your $$$ and buy real estate.

20. Damn you got co dependency issues. Get some therapy my man.

21. You don’t.

    You do what you should have done the first time she didn’t cut his racist arse out of her life, you leave and never look back.

    And when you find out she is with a bottom feeder just like her father in a few years you celebrate your freedom from her and her horrible family.

22. You don’t. She isn’t ready to be in a relationship, she lets daddy control her.

23. Sorry bro, you can’t save the relationship.

    You’re not just marrying a person, you’re also marrying their friends and family.

    And if her dad is racist, it will never work for you guys. I would never marry someone my parents were against, even if their reasons were cruel and dumb.

24. You can’t salvage this man, I’m sorry about what happened but you’re 23 you literally have a whole life ahead of you. Focus on yourself and hopefully you’ll find someone without a shit dad. Good luck.

25. She is never gonna stand up to her Dad. He will always control her as long as she allows it. I know it hurts, but you’ll see in time, it’s for the best. He would have made your life hell.

26. You don’t. She’s more involved with her father than you. Move on and find a girl with a spine.

27. You can’t fix this. To have a marriage, you put your partner first above your family. She can’t do that, so you will not have a fighting chance at marriage.

28. I wouldn’t. Especially if you’re American, that’s how POC have ended up unalived.

29. 5 years means she was your first love, and it was also five years of ignoring some major red flags. It will be hard for some time, but you will find love again.