What are your thoughts on the “ugly friend” concept?

18 comments

1. Disrespectful, condescending and sexist obviously

2. Part of me feels insecure, it makes me wonder if I’m that ugly friend.

   The other part is questioning: What is ugly Why do people get to judge us on looks?

3. If you’re talking in media, it’s an obnoxious and unoriginal trope at best, by this point.

4. Sounds pretty toxic. I read that term more like people sticking with someone they feel superior over and gets an ego boost from it.

5. I’m definitely the ugly friend, it really ruined my self esteem when I had to see my best friend get all the attention. She is beautiful of course, no doubt about it, I just want to know what it’s like.

6. I feel like this concept was created by men and it needs to go away.

7. I don’t know this concept. But growing up I had a very attractive friend. I was also attractive when young and people would always compare us. They’d literally stand there deciding who was most attractive. She’d always ‘win’ lol, but it was horrible having people compare all the time. Especially when I knew ultimately they’d pick her, I never knew why if it was such a difficult choice that she was always deemed more attractive.

   I actually have Body Dysmorphia these days.

8. Definitely toxic. Also grateful I’m not the ugly friend, they’d want me around more otherwise 😂😭

9. I’ve always been the ugly friend. It’s natural for people to draw comparisons between groups I think. It’s not something I like though, and I purposely don’t do it myself.

10. It’s toxic, and gross. I’ve never looked at any of my friends that way, it has literally never crossed my mind, and I can’t imagine anyone doing that, it’s ridiculous

11. I definitely don’t think the concept of ugly or pretty friend should exist. However, I have a friend who is more insecure about the way she looks in comparison to me, and regularly gets upset or agitated at me for getting attention from the opposite gender. I think she’s beautiful and hope she would see it too, but it’s tough to be on the “other” end. The last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings but somehow I manage to do so without doing anything

12. Sure somebody is always prettier but that doesn’t mean others don’t have great personality or a winning smile. You could never tell who will shine or will get something good. Beauty can only work so much…

13. I like/love all my friends for the people they are. There is no ‘ugly’ friend. They’re all beautiful in their own way.

14. I am the ugly friend, also the only POC among my best friends.

    It always stunk watching the female friends always get the attention. My best friend, in particular. She’s really cute and sweet and men used to fall at her feet. Mind you, she’s had a shitty time with men.

    Among my male friends, it generally didn’t matter. There have been occasions I’ve been friends with men and have fallen for them. It’s always been hard listening to them gush on about other women when we got along great, but they would just consider me to be one of their bros because I’m not cute.

15. It started for me long before with my sibling being the “pretty one” and myself being the “smart one”. It’s just another tiresome way to pit women against each other and it destroyed my self esteem very early on.

16. Hard to wrap my head around it, personally. I objectively don’t find all friends I’ve had to be physically attractive but there’s also no correlation between how they look and how much they mean to me.

17. All my friends are really pretty.

    I never befriended a less than attractive girl for the sole reason to look better than them.

18. It reaches a whole different level when you’re also the only person of color amongst your friend group, and living in different countries has proven how much this means to white men, unfortunately. But as we get older, you also find that these types of judgments and standards of being “ugly” or “beautiful” have less value.