I (21f) met this guy from bumble (20m). The first time we arranged a meeting was 2 weeks ago, he couldnt go. He actually told me last minute, so yeah he flaked. I was nice about it saying it’s okay and he said maybe another day.
Several days later, I asked if we can go to the movies he said yes, but this guy takes 12-14 hours to respond. He left me on read for a whole day and were supposed to meet at 6:30.
I unfollowed him from ig and removed him from my ig…because I’m sick of being left on read and very slow texters. I will not show up because he hasnt responded. I just told him that I’m not going and that I was a little annoyed with his lack of communication.
4 comments
I think if someone’s genuinely interested you will know about it! He seems like a time waster and you can put your effort into someone else.
It’s him. If he was truly interested in talking and meeting with you, he would. He’s probably just not interested and doesn’t have the balls to just say that.
I’m a bit older than you, so your mileage may vary. And the 6:30 is difficult to put in context because I don’t know your time zone.
Generally speaking, I think it’s very okay to not respond within 24h. Yes, it would be nice. But people have lives. Quality matters more than the quantity.
As for not answering now when it’s needed, here’s a story. Once I volunteered in a South East Asian country in a school. One of the teacher asked me I wanted to see the director at his home. I agreed and we set a date and time when he was supposed to fetch me. I waited in the scorching sun for an hour and was fuming how people in this country are never on time. When he came, he was deeply sorry. His son had had an accident. I felt like a fool for having believed that I was so important. Long story short: (I) try to give people the benefit of the doubt and try to stay calm. You can still get angry afterwards if you want to.
Of course, none of that may be important. If he is a generally super slow texter, you won’t be happy with him. So while I personally would have handled it different, I also think that it’s okay how you did it. Is he a terrible communicator? We don’t know. Is he not interested? We don’t know. But does it matter? He may adore you, but if you aren’t really compatible, that won’t work (unless you guys want to work on that, but you don’t seem to have that interest).
And lastly: I’ve been flaked numerous times and it sucks. All the best finding a nice and reliable next date! 🙂
He was not interested.