So today I went on a date with this girl I matched with on Tinder last Sunday. We’d been texting back and forth pretty much throughout the week, the vibe was there and her humour gelled with mine and I thought “Awesome this date should go well lol” However one night we decided to facetime and there was a moment where I said something as a joke and she kind of like froze and went all moody? Was weird (I can’t even remember what I said) but yeah I brushed it off even though deep down I was sort of like “huh that was a bit strange”
Anyway we met up today for some cocktails this afternoon, she looked nice and we headed to the bar, we sat at a table where she was to the right of me. So I asked her about her job, she was explaining and when there was a brief pause I went to ask a followup question…she then replied coldly “wait till I’m finished so anyway” I was sort of taken a back like dafuq and then it happened a few other times and I got the “Your always interrupting me” Bare in mind she asked me 1 question which she didn’t pay attention to but anyhow.
I’ve been on dates before but this girl was the rudest girl I’ve ever dated and was nothing like she was over the phone. I complimented her hair and she just rolled her eyes so at this point I was like “OK f this” I didn’t care anymore so I tried a bit of sarcasm with her. She then proceeded to say she hates sarcasm and is very serious, it was honestly like pulling teeth like f me, looking back if the cocktail wasn’t there I’d have ended it sooner, she also said I might be autistic because i couldn’t make her laugh. (When I actually had the chance to speak without yknow “interrupting”)
So yeah life lesson is, no matter how well you gel with someone over messaging and you get that feeling like “yeah we’re perfect together we are so alike” Don’t listen to it. Wait till you actually meet this person and interact with them. I guess this is one of the gripes with online dating but yeah. (I did see a really cool husky though on the way home so that was my highlight lmao)
29 comments
High maintenance, you dodged a bullet lol
What the fuck did I just read?
Yeah this is why I don’t like to spend too much building text rapport with someone I’ve never met. I completely get that women face more danger from meeting strange men but in my view it can be extremely tricky to get to know someone if you don’t have a foundational meeting out of the way. Video calls can help with this but I live with family right now and I’d rather not shoot myself in the foot with revealing that before they get to know other less lame things about me lol
I’ve had something similar happen without the interrupting comment because I just let them talk. Eternally exhausted from how much they’ve shared I would stay brief because it seemed they had more to share — then later I was told I am not sharing enough about me and it’s unfair. I don’t think some people realize these things. They person was quite extroverted and I am an ambivert but if the energy is pushed without courteous pauses.. then it’s their show.
As an autistic person with (albeit limited) experience with other autistic people, I was going to say it sounds like *she’s* autistic. If they’re (/we’re) not careful, they get idiosyncratic, rule-based ways of interacting with people that might in a way make sense if they were to explain it in detail, but… they’d have to explain it in detail, and you’d have to change everything about how you interact with people just to talk to them. They have a hard time dealing with, like, conventional ideas and attitudes. It makes them feel weak. *I* think, based on my own thinking in the past and the interaction I’ve had with other autistic people.
Like, the idea “people always do this” or “people always do that” doesn’t make them feel like “I should do that.” (When we’re not talking about arbitrarily violating someone’s human rights or something. This typically isn’t Thoreau refusing to pay his taxes for the Mexican-American War here, it’s just their personal, idiosyncratic pet peeves.)
There’s definitely more to this story…
I woulda left cash for the bill and left. I woulda also said a few choice words but you know lol
I think this is why i always make sure to talk equally and not just listen, dodged a bullet for sure, a date should be about two people not just one.
>she also said I might be autistic because i couldn’t make her laugh. (When I actually had the chance to speak without yknow “interrupting”)
Basically, “Dance, monkey, dance”? Yuuuuck. She must have been very physically attractive to get that far with you.
Sounds like she had a friend talking to you over text and then she obviously couldn’t fake it over FaceTime or in person.
I have a general sense of distrust in someone via text. Until they have committed and followed through on meeting me face to face, I just don’t let them in. Started talking to a guy last night, he was going to meet me today, and unsurprisingly, ducked out of it 30 min before we were supposed to meet. So yeah, I just don’t put stock or faith in anything until they are in front of me.
And yeah, chemistry/attraction may be good via text but suck in person.
Talking to a chick right now and she is super flirty over text but thank you for reassuring me on my gut feeling. I just sense something is wrong.
Cringey
Wait, so are you saying always trust your gut or never trust your gut? Your conclusion is the opposite of your title.
At least she showed you up front exactly who she is.
I heard a pod recently that said you should always meet IRL within 4 days. I think it’s great advice so you don’t waste your time or get scammed.
yikes emotionally volatile
What? I couldn’t even get through reading that but I’ll just go out on a whim here and say “look inward”. She probably feels the same about your if not more. (Only difference is she didn’t come on Reddit to ramble incoherently about it)
This is why you should try and meet them as soon after matching as you can. You can’t pick as much up from texting, and likewise you can’t build chemistry easily too
I’m imagining a scenario where she’s cheating on someone and her boyfriend walks into the room, and she’s like “HOLD ON, LET ME FINISH! So anyway… 😈”
Yeah dude.
Divine intervention of sorts.
So erm, a few months back, ( Scene: Miami)
I met this wonderful girl on tinder but turned out not so wonderful after all.
Dude she ordered way too much and it was too rude.
And called the place cheap.
250$ on date.
And didn’t offer to pay.
I had to take the bus back to Tampa.
I’m sick of dating apps.
I’m just gonna have to meet someone like the good ol’ days.
dude she said you might be autistic?💀
I am feeling this at the moment. I have been talking to this girl I met on a language exchange app every day for about 5 weeks and we get along really well but I think I am starting to develop feelings. I really need to put a stop on these feelings fast since we have never met and probably won’t for ages.
You say what? This is total bullshit
“saw a husky”
Here’s a dude that can salvage the positive out of any situation. 🤣🤣
You dodged a nuclear missile dude.
Sometimes the conventionally attractive ones become sooo unattractive when you get to know more about them.
This is why i push for meeting irl asap. The wit of the text usually says nothing about chemistry with another person.
That sounds awful. Hope you find someone better soon! I’m 34 and going through a divorce and wondering if I’ll try online dating in the future. But then I read stuff like this and I feel exhausted by the idea before even trying. Contempt prior to investigation, it’s true, but I just can’t get comfy with the idea of OLD.
Having a great texting convo doesn’t always translate to great real time chemistry. I’ve seen it occur both ways. Same as you though I like to move things from app and calls to actual meets
Honestly a lot of people in dating apps are literally shit that nobody wants. That’s why they’re there. But at the same time, in some places most people just use it.
So I don’t know. Maybe simply everyone’s terrible lol