Men of Reddit who have a majority of female friends, what do you think is the reason ?

39 comments

1. They’re easier to trust and have a meaningful conversation with. Don’t have to be performatively masculine around them.

2. Bi guy here.

   When I’m hanging with the girls, it doesn’t feel like my ego/masculinity is on trial. They’re more likely to make plans and not flake and there’s also a surprising lack of bigotry. They show interests outside of Video Games & Movies and are more likely to go to an opera, concert or art gallery.

   With the boys, there’s often racist and homophobic jokes thrown around that don’t feel entirely like jests. Everyone’s ego feels so fragile. They’re not bad people, but sometimes I just want to relax.

3. Where I grew up dudes just come w bullshit and violence. Women less so

4. I had a male friend, he killed himself, what i should have taken as warnings i believed to be jokes and joked along, it’s hard to tell if males are joking or asking for help.

5. I personally think it’s because I usually don’t subscribe to the type of hobbies other guys in the area are interested in. Either that, or it’s not in the “right” way.

6. I had no brothers and only sisters, so relating to girls came more naturally to me. The stuff boys do to each other in friend circles was just confusing. In general, I find women tend to grow up faster in their teens than men. I blame a lot of the “boys will be boys” rhetoric that keeps anyone from holding them accountable to be better.

   It started balancing out in my 20s as I met guys who were more mature. By the time I hit my 30s gender wasn’t really a discriminant for who’d be a good friend.

7. My workplace is simply female dominated

8. When I was younger, I kept getting friendzoned by every woman I approached so after a while I figured I had a knack for befriending them and went with it.

   Meanwhile, with other guys it was always some sort of a competition over the girls so we could never fully see eye to eye.

   I am married now, I do have some guy friends but by and large the vast majority of my friends are women and that’s ok. They are more loyal and less judgmental I feel.

9. Because most of the other men I have known or had the chance of being friends with were either insecure/depressed and spiteful or cold and arrogant. There was just a pissing contest with pretty much everything positive I could have in my life. It was just a constant struggle to have a healthy friendship with other men. There’s just no spiteful bs with the women I have been friends with.

10. Only gonna speak on my experience but, i generally find women much easier to get along with, there is alot less posing involved, i dont have to deal with other guys massive egos and easily wounded pride, and as a blunt person i value blunt people. Most men I’ve known in my life are not blunt with their guy friends.

    At first my wife (then girlfriend) was really uncomfortable with the idea that i had 5 really close female friends but only one male friend. I did have 2 male friends but one died suddenly just months before we met.

    Anyway, i told her how long a history we all had and was completely honest with her. And also made it known that cutting them out of my life to make her feel better was NOT an option. They were a part of my life before i knew her and would be long after she left if thats what she wanted.

    After she met and hung out with all them over the next few months, she was and is completely cool with it. I’m so fucking happy that she got over her insecurity. Cause just thinking about missing out on all these years with her now. It really would have sucked to have had to end it with her.

11. Happenstance.

    A lot of them are from college and that was because women were generally more interested in the subjects I was taking than men.

12. They tend to be more useful for the social things I want to do…. And the areas where the men are more useful…. I don’t really need. I can work on a car myself… But women are more enjoyable to go to new restaurants and see new things with. They tend to be more expressive and that adds to the experience.

    I’m an introvert. I like being social… But I dont need it. It feels more like I’m having fun occasionally “playing human” than doing the activity. Women seem to make that experience feel more authentic.

13. Definitely not mostly, but a lot. Imo women are much easier to talk to than men.

14. They feel safe.

15. I don’t know if it’s a majority or not but a lot of my closer friends are women.

    The reason is probably because we allowed ourselves to have deeper conversations that lead to better understanding of each other.

    While most of my guy friendships are more surface level because we have some similar interests/hobbies etc.

16. I get along with women better than I get along with men.

17. You guys have friends?

18. I’m cool af, everybody should be my friend. I had an older sister so I think I’m just more used to be around women platonically.

19. I can get on with men just fine but honestly so many of them just have this bravado and boisterousness that I just don’t care for at all. This isn’t to say women are perfect but they’re just less intense I tend to find

20. I work in a female dominated industry, so it’s bound to happen. Plus, a lot of people describe me as a gentle, likable guy who’s easy to talk too and relate too. My background is varied, so I can flex some nerdy fandom, or get down in the feels if someone needs a chat.

    My wife, however, hates it. Especially when those lady friends come up to my wife at work events and tell her how lucky she is to have caught me and I’m so wonderful to work with. The “what in the hell are you doing here” conversation has been had multiple times.

    So, then she and I get down in the feels and have a chat about it, and the cycle starts anew.

21. Because I’m genuinely not interested in fucking them and like them genuinely as people, they tend to find me “safe” and gravitate to me.

22. You guys must have shit friends cause the vast majority of guys aren’t insecure competitive bigots. All I’m seeing is the male version of “I’m not friends with girls, it’s too much bitchiness and drama”

23. My undergrad program was 75% women. My friend group was pretty split but ended up hanging out with the women more often than not. Oddly my women friends were the ones more interested in gaming and tech at the time. I just have a long friend history with them and I don’t seek new friendships so I just happen to have a bunch of female friends from a formative time in my life.

    My girlfriend doesn’t care. Many of them are partnered up and I’ve known them all for more than a decade so there’s really not much to look into.

24. I’m answering for my SO bc he does not Reddit and he and I just talked about this a few weeks ago. For context, he has two sisters near his age who he is close with, a mom with a strong personality, and a dad he adores. Pretty vanilla, middle class, suburban USA upbringing.

    He lived in LA (Valley) while growing up and until he was about 40. All of the friends from CA that he still regularly keeps in touch with, which is quite a lot, are men. He has been in Phoenix for about 15 years now and many, if not most, of the friends he has here are women. When we discussed it, neither of of could come up with a reason why. He would really like some guy friends to watch sports with but he keeps finding ladies to go hiking with instead!

    I like all of his friends well enough and it doesn’t matter to me what genitals they own.

25. I used to have almost exclusively female friends. Ithink a big part of it was that I wasn’t really into anything traditionally masculine. But since high school I’ve gotten more into sports, and know enough about football and basketball in particular that I can talk about them ver badum. That and video games have become mainstream to the point that even the most steriotypical jocks are not only willing but excited to admit that they game.

26. I generally enjoy hanging out with ladies.

    My wife, totally doesn’t share the same enjoyment lol

27. I used to and it was usually for emotional validation

28. I find that my relationships with men tend to be more superficial. We’ll have fun and joke around, but the emotional connection just doesn’t tend to form, and we don’t actually talk about anything substantial.

    But with my female friends, I really know them, and they really know me. We talk about anything and everything, even really depressing or embarrassing stuff.

    So being the introvert I am, I only have so much energy to devote to friendships, so I devote it to the deeper ones, rather than the social friendships, and the former tend to be with women.

29. Fascinating. I’ve been pondering this myself a lot lately. I’ve always just felt more comfortable around women. Around men, I feel like I need to put up a front. My wife is very understanding and really thinks nothing of it- for which I am very grateful.

30. I ain’t gonna lie, it sounds like 80% of people
    here are hanging around some questionable dudes.

31. I just carry better conversations with women. Or, at least more diverse conversations.

32. Eventually found my male friends quite boring and not meeting my interests, whereas with women it was interesting conversations and just more fulfilling in general.

33. The reason is extremely simple:

    I wanted to bang them, and got friendzoned. That’s not too bad, many times they present me their friends.

34. Easier to talk to. Better emotional support. Just support in general

35. I had before, but then realized having only female friends was harmful for you personal development when it comes to social interaction.

    Now I have a mixed friend group and i feel like a social alpha. To be honest, having male friends is the bomb.

36. I think it’s mostly because my male friends don’t tend to maintain friendships. The moment we left the common environment we met, like our school or our workplace, it’s an uphill battle to meet them again. I don’t really get that problem with my gal pals

37. Gf knows every woman I’ve been friends with. There is trust, so it never affects out relationship. Btw she has tons of guy friends and i know them all.

38. Probably because I have more of brother complex than anything. Like yeah there are women you find attractive and what not, but platonic friendships are great. I will say though as a kid I never really fit it with the womanizing , locker room talk and in my culture which is extremely sexual it turned me from thinking that way. Just view you as a person and not try to be a friend with other intentions.

39. I asked one of my girl – friends once why

    She said that they are curious about what goes in my head. Cause I’m rude enough to humble them but not enough to hurt them and it intrigues them.