I feel like I’m overthinking this we’ve only been dating for 5 months, the first 3 months he’d eat me out basically every single time we hooked up, but suddenly I feel like he’s stopped and I’m embarrassed to ask (I will I’m just in my head about it right now)
He still loves fingering me but it’s strange to me that changed. I take care of my hygiene, stay hydrated and shower daily…and I have a hard time believe it my taste changed suddenly within the last 2 months or so
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Everyone goes through phases about which things they’re most into. It’s very possible that he is just enjoying doing new/different things with you right now, and that at some point he’ll be right back into it. It’s really likely that he’s not even conscious that he’s been doing it less.
Of course, the easiest thing is to try to ask him to do it while you’re hooking up – if you feel like he’s not into it, then maybe afterwards you can try asking him about it. If he really is not into it, there’s a million possible reasons why, and it might have nothing to do with you! Everyone has their preferences.
You might be overthinking it a bit. He could be just cutting corners because sex is becoming more of a routine. Not in a bad way, just like, it’s not this explosive new thing like it was when you first met.
You already have the answer. Talk to him. Be as least accusatory as possible despite your frustration. Tell him you love when he goes down on you, tell him you want it more, and maybe ask if there’s any particular reason why he hasn’t been doing it as much.
I went through at least one period where I was going down on my wife less and that was just due to a couple “bad” experiences where she was, I guess, less than fresh, and I just got in my head about it and avoided it for a bit for fear of having it happen again. That was more of a me thing and maybe I could’ve communicated better like hey, I love going down on you, can you just make sure to freshen up a little beforehand? That’s a tough convo to have, but that’s the shit we have to do in a committed relationship.
“the first 3 months he’d eat me out basically every single time we hooked up…”
” I feel like he’s stopped and I’m embarrassed to ask”
This has nothing to do with you. At 5 months the “infatuation/honeymoon phase” is almost over. Almost every couple can relate to how magical things were when they first got together. There was spontaneous passion, romance, conversation and laughter flowed for hours…etc.
Cards, token gifts, and surprises were given or planned “just because”.
During this period the word “no” is seldom if ever used. Pleasing each other is the top priority and no one wants to do or say anything which might “blow it” with *the new object* of their affection.
However, once there is a *commitment or emotional investment* people begin to revert back to their natural or “authentic selves”. We tend to do more for “the new” than the “tried and true”.
When a person gets a new job while in their *probation period*, they show up to work on time and without missing a day. Two years later they come in 20 minutes late and a co-worker teases them about it. Their response is: “They’re *LUCKY* I showed up!”
A guy goes to visit a girl he just started dating and she offers to make him something to eat.
A couple of years later they’re living together, and he asks her to make him a grilled ham and cheese sandwich. Her reply: “Who do you think I am? You got two hands, fix it yourself!”
Communication is almost a cliche when it comes resolving issues and yet people resist.
Apparently according to the “soulmate myth” your ideal mate will (*instinctively*) know what to do and say in order to please you. Essentially “communication” *is effective* but *not romantic*.
It’s not uncommon for people in committed relationships to say things such as:
“I shouldn’t have to ask/tell you…etc.” or “If you loved me, you would …etc.”
My guess is, if you *asked your boyfriend* to eat you out tonight, he would.
A lot of us want our partner to come up with the idea or desire to do whatever *on their own*!
And even when people do get what they asked for they are *resentful* for having to ask!
Right now, I don’t think you have anything to worry about. Simply learn to ask for whatever it is you want. When *asking no longer works* that when you know things have changed.
There are only two ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships.
We either get what we want, or we learn to be happy with what we have.
If someone believes *you* are worth the effort, *they* will make the effort.
When you realize someone is *unable/unwilling* to meet your needs it’s usually best to move on.
Best wishes!
Other commenters make good points. What about you? Do you give him oral? Some men might not want to give it isn’t reciprocal. Not saying those are MY feelings or approach, but I know some people may stop if it isn’t being reciprocated.
Just ask.
I know someone whose partner ended performing oral the day they got married.
Other commenters are giving him too much of benefit of doubt. Honeymoon is over and so you get to see his true self and his true self may just be he isn’t into it. Evaluate now if this is a deal breaker for you. A man who loves it won’t miss it more than one time.