Background: I (30f) have had multiple long term partners throughout my life, none of which I have ever had a long lasting sexual desire towards.
I have always enjoyed the thrill of sex more (the fun at the beginning) because I’m not sensitive down below, so I require that mental stimulant for me to want it/enjoy it.
Current situation: Long term bf who I love, want to marry, have kids with etc. We love together and we have always gotten on so well and laugh so much. However, our sex life has dramatically decreased. I feel absolutely no desire for sex what so ever, especially with him. This has been on going for longer than a year and unfortunately it’s impacting our relationship as understandably he heels rejected and unwanted sexually. I often sometimes think am I going to be someone who cheats later on in life because I only get turned on by the thrill of sex more than the sex?
Is this a lack of sexual chemistry or is this normal in long term relationships? I have always preferred masterbation more as I can climax and it doesn’t come with the pressure of someone trying so hard to make me orgasm.
2 comments
have you tried making sex with him more thrilling? what exactly turns you on so much with new people?
I’m one of those who start losing interest towards partners around the half year mark at the latest. Or I thought I was. What I’ve learned is that they get into a rhytm, a routine, there’s no spontaneity, no seducing, no new thrills, no “I can’t wait to fuck you”, no “I love your ass it deserves an altar” at that point. And if they don’t do that, if they keep up with me in how much they want to know how to please and how much they want sex and flirting and building tension and what have you, then I don’t get bored of them. You didn’t mention anything like that in your post so could that be helpful for you?