I (24m) met a girl(20F) at my work. I started talking to her and I made it clear from the beginning that I was attracted to her multiple times. We exchanged numbers and social medias.
I would like to note that English is not her first language so there are times she has a hard time communicating.
After texting her for a while we start seeing each other in our lunch breaks and it goes well. She flirts with me and shows signs of interest with her body language. We get along well, sometimes we don’t say much but having company during our breaks is good.
Since I’ve made it obvious that I’d like to go out with her (outside of work), I’ve asked her multiple times.
First time. She said she was busy but would “definitely go another day”. Ok that’s understandable, we had a rough work week. This was thru text.
Second time. This time I decided to ask her in person. She said “maybe”.
Third time. This was the same day I asked her the second time but wanted to get a clearer answer. I texted her I was free this week and if she wasn’t busy, we could hangout. She replied with “I’ll let you know if I’m not busy”.
At this point I am tired of chasing her. I’ve initiated every convo and have been the one that has put in the effort to meet up with her during breaks. I know English is not her first language but it’s not hard to give me a clearer answer. What I don’t understand is that in person, she is completely different than in text. Shows a lot of interest in me.
– should I stop pursuing this girl?
– maybe wait and see if she asks me out?
– still see her during breaks but don’t ask her out again?
– why can’t she just give me a clear no/yes?
4 comments
>Second time. This time I decided to ask her in person. She said “maybe”.
Stopped reading there. She’s done. Move on, dude. You’re the 3rd string. Maybe barely practice squad. So you’re only gonna get her out if she has absolutely nothing else she’d rather do. And by anything else I mean her internet is down so she can’t even watch Netflix.
If she won’t commit to meeting, that’s as good as a no. Definitely stop pursuing.
There’s no harm in seeing her at breaks, but stop acting interested. If you’re fun and friendly, she might wonder why you gave up pursuing. If she does, just say that you had “kind of given up hope,” but that you would still like to go out with her.
Sometimes women think that by not giving a clear answer, it means that they’re not hurting anyone’s feelings. A lack of interest often means they won’t commit to any strong statements. But you’ve made multiple attempts and she has not committed, so it seems this isn’t going to happen.
If she isn’t giving a clear answer, it’s time to give up. You’ve asked multiple times and still no. Relationships are built on clear communication and it’s clear that isn’t happening, so it’s time to move on.
If you ask a girl out, and her answer is anything other than “Yes”, the answer is “No”.
And you can go ahead and forget about her asking you out. That aint happening.
She’s not into you like that. But she will still soak up your attention for as long as you let her. That’s why she seems interested when you talk to her. That’s why she’s all wishy washy with you. She’s dangling the carrot juuuuuuust enough to rope you in.
Withdraw, get over it, and move on.