How do you guys deal with anger and rage ?

49 comments

  3. I started going to the gym for health and my temper got short. To much external training, not enough internal. So I started working to tamp down my emotions in general. I’ve had to learn to fake my old pleasant affect. But internally I’m just working to maintain my center.

  4. Meditation and learning to fight.

    I recommend joining an mma and/or jiu jitsu gym, then read “Ten Percent Happier”, “Why Buddhism is True”, and “The Heart of a Fighter.”

  7. Analytically. Freaking out doesn’t solve anything. Often times I’ll talk it through with my wife and feel better afterwards.

  8. Not proud of it, but a solid rip of something good usually chills me the fuck out.

    If that’s not around, I take about 10 deep breaths and exhale slow. Usually settles me down

  10. Lots of people try to meet anger and rage with high energy activity like exercise or music but sometime the total opposite helps me more like just wrapping up in a blanket or hammock. Comfort swaddling for adults.

  12. I paint. It forces you to control your breathing and steady your hands which i have trouble with. If you cant draw, you can buy little car models from the hobby shop and paint them in. The details need all your concentration and you forget about everything else.

  14. Killing shit in video games. Also don’t underestimate the power of screaming your heart out. Not where you would scare anyone though. Your car is a good spot. Your day sucked? Scream about it. Let God, the universe, the flying spaghetti monster, whatever you believe in know about it. Don’t let it fester inside of you.

  15. Went through cognitive behavioural therapy.

    If it wasn’t for CBT I’m 90% sure I’d have been locked up by now..

  16. Managing anger is a lifestyle, not a prescription for a discrete incident. I used to be a very, very angry guy. My temper was short, my patience was short, my voice was loud and I was a grumpy dude. Why can’t everything just be right? Why are you standing in the middle of the sidewalk, move! I thought I said before that I didn’t appreciate that kind of thing! Etc.

    Part of my problem was that I made excuses for it in the moment. 1. I’m just a full throttle guy, 2. people are stupid, they’re the ones making me angry, 3. Once I get it out, I’m fine. A little anger never hurt anyone. 4. Why the fuck are you asking? If I want to be angry, who gives a shit? My feelings aren’t valid?

    But that’s all a con you play on yourself. That’s no way to live, angry all the time, constantly on edge. I started taking time to think, reflect, analyze myself, and come around to the logical conclusion that if everyone in the world makes me angry, that’s not a them problem, that’s a me problem. And that leads to, why am I so angry? What is it about my life that I am just so fucking mad all the time? And that led to, I want to change that. I don’t want to be like this anymore.

    That’s the starting point. Now I was in a position to deal with rage, to start making lists and figuring out what is associated with what. For me, step 1 was get a divorce, both of us were miserable. Step 2 was stop doing so many drugs. Step 3 was move out of a city I hated living in. Step 4 was harder – empathy for all people at all times. If someone is making me mad, I flip it and explore why that might be happening, and if it is because someone is being a dick or self centered or whatever, I let that shit just roll off me. No reason to get upset. They’re having a them problem, and that’s not my problem.

    Over time, managing anger becomes just a part of who you are. I’m not an angry person anymore and I’m happier and healthier for it. This is the kind of stuff nobody really teaches men. It’s just, “control yourself.” Well, it’s a lot bigger than that.

  18. I just don’t really get angry. Especially on the internet. None of you would talk to me in person the way you would behind a screen, so I just don’t take it seriously. I don’t take rejection personally. It’s dumb.

  20. With a lightly greased pan and place in the oven for 350 to bake for about 15-20 minutes or until golden brown.

    Then take out of the oven and let rest for an additional 30 minutes.

    Then proceed to not give a fuck.

  26. Suppression. If I hold it in long enough they eventually become new personalities living in my head.

  28. Anger issues is what killed my last relationship, I’m still really struggling with it, but I try to get away from what’s making me angry so I can decompress and come back later with a clearer head.

  31. Get away from whatever makes you feel that way if possible.

    Exercise helps more than I even though it would have.

    Medication helps balance things out a bit.

  37. I’ve been on this earth 43 years. I’ve seen quite a lot. Nothing, besides major health issues is worth loosing your cool.

  38. Paraphrasing – *“Hanging on to resentment and anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”*

    Learn to let it go before it consumes you.

  39. Years of therapy and realizing my anger was a learned behavior and a result of my upbringing. I was at my lowest point in my life, consumed by guilt and everything was awful. It just came out as rage followed by deep sadness. Everyone will tell you ways to process that anger in a healthy environment but if you think you struggle with a real anger problem the cure starts from within and learning how to properly handle and regulate your emotions. Anger is an emotion that is normal to feel and sometimes we can’t control that, but we can control HOW we react to anger. Being angry is normal but hitting things and hurling insults at people are not.

  40. Used to be drumming. And I’m all out of drums.

    Stuff it down with brown.

  42. Medication, therapy, and volunteering. It’s hard to get angry when you put yourself in the places you want to be

  44. Very unpopular opinion on Reddit but Tate talks a lot about this. You don’t ever want to act out your feelings or look to find someone that cares so you can vent all your problems because people don’t care. You accept your emotions and continue handling business. You work out, go to work, run your errands, and stay mentally strong. When you act out your emotions is when you commit a heinous crime, maybe confront someone a lot tougher than you and get your ass kicked, or you do/say something you regrets. No. Keep composure. Take a deep breath. Move on. Your feelings will eventually too.

  46. *”How do you guys deal with anger and rage ?”*

    Like a normal mature adult OP.

  47. I think to myself, will this still matter in ten years? Ten weeks? Ten days? Ten hours? Ten minutes? Ten seconds? It helps me put things in perspective, in terms of how much of my attention and energy and aggravation something is worth.

  49. Lift weights. Sleep well. Eat right.

    ​

    This formula will probably cure 70% of mental issues in 80% of people. The reason the USA has such mental health problems is because the majority of Americans do exactly *none* of these three things on a daily basis.

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