I really don’t have anyone to talk to about this so I was hoping for some help. Me (28f) and my “boyfriend” (34m) have had a different relationship from the beginning. He has a child from his previous relationship. I do enjoy spending time with him and his child, never overstepping and giving them time together without me as well. I also understand that there are times he has to do this with his baby’s mom and daughter together. I recently asked him how the two of them were doing, as their split was rough. He said good now that they haven’t been living together for awhile, but that sometimes when he goes to her house to get his child, or she comes to his, they hookup and sleep together. I was clearly blindsided by this. He said they way he loves me is different than the way he loves his child’s mom. He kept saying that the things we do together (shopping, cleaning/organized, dates), he would never do with her, nor would she want to do with him.
I now feel like I’m not good enough for him. If I was, why would he feel the need to sleep with her too? I could tell how much he loves me by the way he looks at me, holds me, and how hurt he was telling me everything. I feel so dumb, but it hurts thinking he may not be in my life anymore. But I also can’t be with him knowing that he’ll spend the day or whatever with me, and then turn around and sleep with here. How should I talk to him about this? Am I stupid for thinking there’s a chance he would stop sleeping with her? Please no rude comments about me. I was blindside by this and it’s been a lot to process.
6 comments
Bye bye shit bag!
This is called cheating. Break up with him.
Why are you with a man with so much baggage and clear red flags?
RUN!
It’s not that you’re not good enough for him, but you’re TOO GOOD for him. Any time a man has a “baby mama”… it’s safe to assume he’ll do the same to you and he’s a walking red flag and a dead beat.
Your “boyfriend” is actively cheating on you.
Dump him and stop dating someone who is going to openly cheat on you.
So he’s cheating on you with his ex? That’s without question absolutely straight reason to leave him asap
Even if he stopped sleeping with her she going to be in his life for 18 years can you really be paranoid every time he goes to get his kid.. and the fact he said it so casually is enough to tell you he using you.. there relationship is toxic but he still wants to fuck her but have you to do the relationship stuff with.. walk away from him before he gives you an std and destroys you emotionally.
Please don’t believe he loves you, he doesn’t you just there until him and his baby mama can sort out what there issues are. I wouldn’t even offer him the Satisfaction of breaking up face to face I’d just text him and end it.
” I’ve had time to digest what you told me about your child’s mother and the fact you think it’s ok to still be sleeping with her while with me, I’m going to removed myself from this toxic situation.. I’m no body’s place holder and I will not be with a guy that thinks it’s ok to not only sleep with his baby mama and play with my feelings but also play with his child’s life.. as if this toxic crap blows up in your face it’s your kid that suffers and I think your both extremely selfish. Don’t try and convince me otherwise or promise things to change, I don’t care anymore.you have tainted everything we had.I deserve someone to fully want me and me only and that’s not you. Do us both a favour and don’t contact me anymore, i wish you the best in the future and hope you sort your self out ”
If he doesn’t stop contacting you block him.. he is toxic as hell