I met this guy on a dating website last week. We were talking for a week and it was amazing. We were supposed to go out Friday but he had car troubles so we couldn’t go out. He was kind of dry texting me Thursday and Friday but he was having car troubles and had to clean out his car to trade it in. Saturday comes. He texts me once in the morning and then the last time he text me is at 1 PM. I sent him a video from TikTok at like 5pm that I thought he might like, no response. I waited to the next day around 5 PM to say “hey…is everything OK” because I know he was stressed out. Now it’s Monday and he still hasn’t replied and it’s 4 o’clock. Am I being ghosted? He even said he doesn’t like ghosting he said we’re adults and can Just say when you aren’t interested. I haven’t messaged him today because I don’t want to be too clingy cause it has only been a week.
Btw I’m 23 and he’s 29
4 comments
Probably, but also the guy sounds like kind of a mess and not worth pursuing. Date people who will make concrete plans with you, and if they have to cancel, are willing to reschedule. Try and avoid all the other “how was your day”/”check out this meme”/”are you ok?” back and forth, which is irrelevant fodder until you’ve actually met.
I’d say leave the ball in his court, you messaged him and he knows it. But my advice is to get back on the dating website and find some other dates because he’s blowing it.
Maybe
This is just life on dating apps, you’ll get the definitive answer in the upcoming says but ultimately this is a stranger on an app that you’ve never met, so it’s whatever
Keep talking to others and if he doesn’t get in touch, cool, you won’t remember him this time next month because nothing has happened here
There are many possible reasons why he hasn’t replied to you yet. Maybe he’s still dealing with his car issues, maybe he’s busy with work or family, maybe he’s feeling overwhelmed or depressed, maybe he lost his phone or forgot to charge it, maybe he’s just not good at texting or communicating. Or maybe he’s not interested in you anymore and he’s trying to avoid hurting your feelings by ghosting you.
I can’t tell you for sure what’s going on in his mind, but I can tell you that you deserve someone who respects you and values your time and attention. Someone who is honest and consistent with you, someone who makes an effort to stay in touch and show interest in you, someone who is excited to see you and spend time with you. Someone who treats you the way you treat them.
You have done nothing wrong by reaching out to him and showing concern. You are not being clingy or needy, you are being caring and considerate. You have the right to know where you stand with him and what his intentions are. You have the right to express your feelings and needs, and to expect a response from him. You have the right to walk away from him if he doesn’t meet your expectations or respect your boundaries.
Please update!
I’m in a similar situation. Lots of texting over last week, we spoke on the phone for over 2 hours. He told me at the end he’d love to plan something to see me. I texted the same the next day.
He’s quite busy with work and about to travel so he messaged saying Saturday works for him if I’m around. I said yes and asked what time and he hasn’t messaged since. It’s only been a day but the change in texting is throwing me off.
I’m going to wait until Wednesday and if there still isn’t any confirmation I’m going to assume our plans aren’t on.