Hey guys, I matched with a girl on Bumble a few days ago and we hit it off pretty good. We graduated to texting recently and we’ve been talking a lot. We’re planning a date sometime this week, but she informed me just now that she has a learning disability, specifically she can’t understand big words and such. When we first started talking, immediately something was off because the way she texts is a bit strange, she scrambles her words but they are still very easily decipherable. But other times her wording is perfectly normal.
I am completely fine that she has the disability, though I was wondering if kissing her on the first date is acceptable. I’ve kissed almost every first date I’ve been on, though I’m unsure about this. In a way, I would feel like I’m taking advantage of her but it’s not my intention to take advantage at all. Before first dates I’ve never planned on kissing the girl or expecting to kiss, they just naturally occurred.
What do you guys think? I really don’t want to make her uncomfortable because she’s a very sweet person, even if the vibe is right. I’m leaning towards not kissing, but would like your advice.
9 comments
Bro is not like she is mentally challenged. Looks like a normal date to me. I guess is up to her if she wants to be kissed or not.
Yeah, this is pretty minor. It’s not like she is full on disabled. She has a problem with words. Sounds like dyslexia or something. She’s normal. Would you assume someone that is completely illiterate to be so mentally challenged that you wouldn’t be able to kiss them? This woman can read and write, it’s just a small issue with her brain causes her to read and type letters in the wrong order.
This title man hahah jeeez.
Treat her like a normal person, because she is.
Only issue I have here is that you seem to usually have a first kiss on the first date. The second date is generally the best place for a first kiss, if your goal is a relationship – as it allows you to build an emotional foundation and then introduce the physical and hopefully… not be as completely influenced by raging hormones that lead you to thinking the person is compatible when they aren’t.
Maybe you’re having extensive text conversations prior to dates that moves you further down the timeline than I normally do, so, not saying you’re doing anything wrong just feels odd to me personally.
Ask her. I was nearly 30 when some women told me to just ask “can I kiss you”. Obviously only if things are going great lol. And I saw in multiple comments you said she isn’t disabled, even disabled people want love and romance. I work in the community and I see many more male individuals in relationships than women.
Just ask first
Dyslexia. I have it. I read backwards in clumps. I sometimes tell stories from the end to the start. I dont really think it’s a disability to me. More to other people.
I would clarify a learning disability can be very different from a learning difficulty.
Learning difficulties don’t affect IQ
a learning disability constitutes a condition which affects learning and intelligence across all areas of life
Have a talk make sure you know what is actually being talked about and how it might affect dynamic- is it a learning difficulty I e dyslexia (really not a big deal) or a learning disability (which can really be a big deal – and affect someone’s life and ability to navigate life ) the two often get banded together and they are not the same.
I’ve worked with people with learning Disabilities and some of them needed help to use the toilet and lifetime care.
https://mylifehomecare.co.uk/learning-difficulties-learning-disabilities-difference/#:~:text=a%20learning%20disability%20constitutes%20a,overall%20IQ%20of%20an%20individual
Communication. That is all. Use words lol.
Sounds like she’s dyslexic or something. Learning disabilities are different than being actually mentally challenged, it’s not like she has the mind of a child or something. There’s no problem here.