TLDR;
I liked this girl, we went on a few dates, i stayed over at her place 3 times. But i did nothing more than cuddling all night because i felt to scared to kiss her. When finally the last time i stayed over i kissed her in the cheek. There was no real reaction. She didn’t really talk and respond to me afterwards. And after two weeks of radio silence (she didn’t respond for days and told she was sorry every time she did ect.) I asked if we could talk. I told her i had feelings for her but that I didn’t really know what to do because of mixed signals (those weren’t my exact words but you get my drift). Then se told me she had liked all our dates ect. And that she felt really comfortable with me really quick. But she didn’t feel these feelings of “love”.
The thing is. I know i might not have made the best choices. Probably due to a lack of experience. But I can’t help but feel like i would need more closure because I just keep blaming myself for “fucking it up”. I just keep asking myself things like what if i did kiss her earlier or what if i didn’t confess or what if i just had a bit more patience. And what makes it harder for me is that i have been working on myself since then and i realized that I haven’t shown te real me in a long time, also not towards her. Its just some form of self protection.
You see, because i have been learning all these things about myself i feel like i threw away something that could be great, but because i couldn’t be myself and show her the real me i fucked it all up or something.
Idk how to explain this feeling but its like i didn’t give myself a fair fighting chance. And that bothers me a lot. Apart from the usual heartbreak ofcourse. And its not like I feel im not an interesting person, i just have a hard time expressing myself and she probably noticed but didn’t know what to do or something idk.
Here is some practical information haha:
Im male 20
She was female 19
It all ended about 2/3 months ago now
We dated for about 2/3 months. And we are in the same friend group, wich will probably fall apart next year due to some of these friends moving ect. and most of them knew about the dates but we didn’t talk about it openly, something that also bothers me, like why didn’t i just tell or something.
1 comment
When you just begin dating someone, it generally doesn’t come with sleepovers unless you are looking for a hookup. This person you dated let you sleepover three times very quickly, I suspect this means they were hoping for a hookup and not a relationship. Especially that she conveyed she doesn’t feel romantic feelings for you. So three times she was ringing the sexy dinner bell and you just laid there.
I think you need to not beat yourself up over this one because she already admitted she doesn’t want a relationship with you. Anything further channeled into her is wasted effort since you mentioned emotional involvement and she isn’t signing on for that. Just do you, and be open for other possibilities elsewhere. Best of luck!