So I entered the military around 19, my time there didn’t go well which is now why I’m voluntarily separating. But I got emotionally attached to someone and I wanted their attention all the time. later on I was suffering from a mental breakdown and started acting irrational and crazy because of my state of mind.
I later left that area and I come to find on later on she thinks I’m a stalker, she was really happy a restraining order was in put in place, she literally hates me. She apparently talk shit about me to everyone I know and it always gets back to me. She didn’t take my mental health issues seriously and thinks I was faking it the whole time (which I wasn’t) and apparently told someone I make her want to skin puppies?
I feel so guilty because all this terrible shit happened during a difficult time for me so she saw a very broken side to me during a really dark time. And this is her permanent impression of me. I hate that she thinks so negatively of me. I want to fix it. I want to message her and say I’m sorry and beg for a second chance. But I know it’s useless, I’ll never see her again and we’ll never be a part of each other’s lives. I don’t know how to to move on. Any advice.
3 comments
Even if there were not a restraining order put into place, contacting someone who thinks you’re a stalker is showing that person you are in fact a stalker.
I would definitely contact a therapist. This is too delicate of a situation for some randoms to help you with.
Stoic techniques can be a good supplement to therapy. Momento mori has a knack for lending some perspective.
You need to make sure that you’re respecting other people’s boundaries well, and you need to start some serious CYA. Self restraint and emotional distance from this can limit the damage to your reputation and your mental health.
Make it clear to yourself and then your friends and family that the information they are getting is not necessarily inaccurate, and that you no longer wish to communicate with this person, even indirectly through friends.
Seriously, consider getting a lawyer, they’re going to give advice we can’t that may keep you out of jail or long term unemployment.