How did your partner prioritising their birth family affect you guys?

5 comments

1. I think it would be a little bit of a red flag if my husband didn’t prioritize his own family. I mean for me as long as the party’s respect each other that’s the biggest thing.

   He would never let them speak about me negatively just as he would never let me speak about them negatively. We’ve never exactly discussed like who would come first type of situations The only thing that we decided was that when our son was born he would become the center and the choice for everything even over each other.

2. In some moments I expect him to prioritize his family, same as I do mine.

   Our parents are elderly and won’t be around forever, our plans can wait a day or two so he can have lunch with his mom or I can go shopping with mine.

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4. When we married, in his vows he said that his immediate family was me and him. He’s never once put his extended family in front of his immediate family.

   I do not think that I would have fared well if he’d broken that vow.

5. No problem. If I’m happy in the relationship,.. i.e. he’s putting effort into it, I’m being fulfilled, he’s present, and makes me feel care for and loved…. I’m not gonna be thinking about what priority I am in his life.

   In fact, if my partner didn’t prioritise his family over me, I’d tell him he’s wrong and he should. I do and likely always will, he knows, understands and loves that about me. I told him that my bestfriend I’ve known since childhood would probably also be before him at times and I hope he prioritises his bestfriend (he’s known since birth) when necessary too.

   So IMO, if you’re being treated well and happy in a relationship, you really wouldn’t care – nor would it matter how you’re prioritised. You’d really only think about this if you feel you aren’t being treated as well as you think you should be (I.e. not happy in the relationship).