I 33(m) have a new girlfriend that enjoys sexy talk and being told what to do I.E. being told “good girl”, being told to perform a sex act, “fuck me”, “I am going to split you like Thor splits the sky with Mjolnir”….okay maybe not that last one… but you get the point hopefully
She is a sub, I have always been a silent dom. I am a muscular guy and usually just move my partner around without asking them to do something and the most vocal I am is sounds of pleasure. I don’t think I have spoken during sex in a very long time….
We have great sex but on date 2 she mentioned that this was something she likes, she hasn’t had any complaints about the sex but I would like to surprise her some night with some “sexy talk”. What are some tips and tricks and or ideas reddit has to add this to my repertoire without sounding cringy and or ruining the mood.
4 comments
Say “I don’t like talking to you” but like whisper
If you, like me, find conversation to be an elaborate equation even when you aren’t trying to enjoy sex, here’s a simplified version that helps me to keep in mind:
Step 1) Ask beforehand whether she prefers praise or degradation more (or maybe both!)
Step 2) Apply accordingly (e.g., “You look so good when you do X for me” vs. “You think doing X impresses me? You’ll need to try harder”)
Step 3) Enjoy
Accept that you will probably not feel like you’re great at it right away, trust that she’s not going to be upset while you’re learning, take a deep breath and remember it’s just sex and it’s supposed to be fun, then practice practice practice!
Sometimes it just sounds dumb out-of-context, and you have to roll with it. That said, a good place to start is by commenting on what your senses pick up:
* Sight: Her beauty, what she’s wearing, her expressions.
* Taste: Her lips/tongue, skin, pussy/ass.
* Touch: How smooth her skin feels, what you like touching.
* Smell: Hair, pussy/ass, her skin.
* Hearing: The way she moans, or specific things she says.
Comment on things you like using the list above, or how they make you feel. It can take a bit of practice to verbally express these, as often they’re raw emotions you don’t talk about. Examples:
* It turns me on when you look at me like that.
* I love the way you smell, it drives me wild.
* When you wear that bra, sometimes I feel like I can’t control myself.
* Do you like it when I tell you what to do?
* Your ass feels so smooth and sexy.
Use this to help build your confidence, as it’s often an important part of being the dominant. Once you get comfortable expressing yourself verbally then the rest will follow.