I’m a generally lonely person so I try to make friends when I have the energy for it. Most of my hobbies and interests are male dominated and therefore most of the people that I can make friends with are guys.
The issue is that I can’t tell if a guy has interest in me or if he genuinely just is being friendly and it’s getting bad to the point that it’s frustrating my boyfriend due to my inability to pick up the clues, and it’s frustrating me because I end up being friends with someone who apparently creates feelings for me, and I unknowingly break their heart cause I only see them as a friend.
A recent example is I recently started talking to my boyfriend’s friend and we’re in the same area of work/school. We talked a lot back and forth and he gives actually detailed replies. Like three messages in a row and almost instantly responds every single time. This made me really happy and I was excited but when I expressed this to my boyfriend, he told me that it was really upsetting and as a result I stopped talking to the friend in question out of respect for my boyfriend’s feelings.
Was the guy just being friendly or was he possibly interested in me? What are some signs i can look out for?
2 comments
You answer in right there.. if anyone is paying too much attention to you- instant replies, long answers, showing interest in your life etc.. means they are interested in you. Also, how we speak and interact with other person also matters. Sometimes unknown to us.. it might come across as flirting to the other person and hence encouraging them. So, you need to find the pattern in your interactions with people and then resolve it.
I have tons of guy friends that give detailed responses and want to have in depth convos. Never have they made a move. Some guys just want to be friends. Why is it so wrong for girls and guys to have real convos with people other than their significant other. Perhaps your boyfriend is jealous because he knows if he gave that effort – it’d only be for someone he liked romantically. But not all guys are like that. And if there is a problem down the road where this friend actually likes you romantically then you can deal with it then. But don’t cut off every opposite sex friendship just because they’re actually providing friendship.