I (21F) have been dating my girlfriend for half a year. Everything is amazing, even the sex, but there is something that worries me and that is that she is very insecure about the shape of her breasts.
She has “tubular breasts”, she hates them. She didn’t want to have sex precisely because she didn’t want me to see her, and even before doing so she told me about what she calls “defect”. Well, it’s been a month since we had sex for the first time, and she decided to get undressed. I loved her breasts, I loved the shape, I loved the color. I loved how easy it is to have them all in my mouth because of the way they are. And knowing that it is her insecurity, I wanted to make her feel much better. I took my time sucking them and telling her how much I liked her breasts.
I’ve noticed that she really likes me playing with her breasts, but sometimes when we have sex, she asks me if she can keep her shirt on since she doesn’t feel confident with how they look. I don’t want to make her feel uncomfortable by being insistent, but I would like to help her love herself. She is very beautiful, physically and in personality.
How can I make her feel more secure? It hurts me to see her so self-conscious. I want her to feel secure in her body. I wish she could see herself the way I see her. Any advice?
20 comments
A sex game:
“Lie down. I’m in charge for the next ten minutes. I’m unbuttoning your shirt because I’m in charge and I want to. I’m taking off your bra because it turns me on. No, I know: you’re uncomfortable. But hang with me. What am I doing…? I’m adoring your breasts. I love them. Feel me. I’m wet just touching them, taking them in my mouth. You turn me on, body and mind. No… I have five minutes left. Oh, yeah. We’re going to do this at least twice a month. I know how you feel; but feel how you make ME feel.”
Note: these scripted games rarely go to script. But the conceptual truth is, when we take ownership over our partners’ issues like this, two things come to the fore at once: gratitude and resentment. They are grateful because it’s undeniable that we actually WANT them. But they resent us for contradicting their notions about their own unloveliness. If it leads to talk instead of sex, I count that as a win, provided the talk is as gentle and insistent and uncompromisingly honest as the sex.
I would just tell her what u said in this post 🤷🏻‍♀️
The way u wrote that is really sweet, there’s nothing u can tell her that will make her change her mind because it’s something that she needs to accept before
But just tell her, I’m pretty sure she will like what u wrote
And just keep doing what ur doing!
Something to consider might be to tell her that although you accept her feelings about her breasts, make it clear how much you like them, and then perhaps you could suggest that instead of a shirt you could take her to buy some cute lingerie which might still be comfortable for her but add a little sexiness and elegance, while hopefully making her feel confident and pretty without the vulnerability of her breasts being naked. It could be a fun date activity!
As she eases into more confidence, she may well feel more comfortable with having them exposed.
Worship them. Tell her how much you want to see them, touch them. That you need them. Eventually she’s going to get the hint that you really like them and her.
I think what you are doing now is enough. Her relationship with her body is her own and you can’t make her love yourself. Just keep telling her how much you love her and her body. If she feels more confident with her shirt or bra on I wouldn’t say anything about it. Just let her do it.
All breasts are sexy
If she insists on wearing a shirt, ask her not to wear a bra so that you can still feel them and play with them through and under the shirt. Baby steps
Show her this post, tell her what you think, each day if you want. She will trust you at the end, that will just take time. You just need to never hesitate to tell her
Suck on em til she cums
22F here with the same insecurity about my breasts. I have been dating my boyfriend for nearly 5 years and although he has adored them since day one and makes sure I know he loves them almost daily, I STILL hate mine.
You might not be able to get her to like them, but you CAN stop her from hating them more by continuing the support you’re giving now.
Think of it like mushrooms: say you love mushrooms, but your girlfriend hates mushrooms. You can tell her as much as you want that you love mushrooms and she should love them too because they’re delicious, but that won’t make her like mushrooms or suddenly find them delicious; she just has different taste buds.
You’re a good boyfriend for wanting to support her though đź©·
It can take a long time to make small changes in self esteem. It can be frustrating but it’s probably worse for her. Just keep saying nice things and be understanding that it isn’t easy for her.
Build a Time Machine and start a decades long rebranding of what society considers the ideal breast. Warning: this may backfire as her breasts will become “perfect” in her eyes now and she may now have an inflated ego and decide she deserves only the best males available.
I had the same insecurity my entire life, and now I know only I hated them, however I got a boob job 2 years ago, and it has changed my life and my sex life completely, I should have done it sooner. If she really is insecure about them, reassure her that you love them, and if you have the possibility, tell her your both going to start saving “x” amount per paycheck for her to get them done, that you love them, but you want her to be truly happy. It changed my life, I sometimes think I would have gotten married and had a few kids if I had done mine before, as a woman, she’ll always always be self conscious about them, in this case, only changing them will be a solution from my point of view. Mine were tubular too, and since it’s not the norm, I could never live with them
I had insecurities about my breasts too. I would hesitate being completely naked in front of my bf. My bf was kind & patient with me and always told me he really liked my breasts and the way they look. He made sure to spend time caressing and sucking them during foreplay. As I became more comfortable about around him and with my body I stopped covering myself during sex. It will take time but keep doing what you’re doing! Just be patient with her and keep up the affirmations.
Rub
> I loved her breasts, I loved the shape, I loved the color. I loved how easy it is to have them all in my mouth because of the way they are. I’ve noticed that she really likes me playing with her breasts
In that case get obsessed with playing with them, seeing how much you are [worshiping them](https://tpi02.wordpress.com/2022/09/29/foreplay/) will make her realize their true beauty, than just maybe saying it to her.
You can’t, only she can find a way to be more secure in herself. You can’t make her feel anything if she doesn’t see herself that way 🤷‍♀️. Just keep reassuring her, but don’t push the matter if she’s extremely sensitive about it
I love when hubby compliments my trouble areas, I tend to forget about it and makes me feel good about it. Sounds like it will take a lot with her but continue to be verbal with her and tell her how great she looks or her tits look
I have this type of boobies, does it affect any other way, like medically bad type?
Give some compliments.while saw