Sooo me (24) and my boyfriend (24) have been really wanting to get into the swinging scene recently, and we don’t know really where to start… We’ve experimented with other girls before (friends of mine) and it worked out well, believe it or not!
It never continued to more than just a one night stand, but we really liked including someone else in our sex life. We just don’t really know how to take the first step.
Some of the things we really enjoy as far as it goes in the bedroom is light bdsm (tying me up, hitting, choking, slapping) etc…but then we also love to be super intimate and really passionate with each other so it can be a major switch up any time we have sex lol.
We are a complete pair but we’re so shy when it comes to being sexy with other people. We’ve also never been with another guy but my boyfriend is eager to see another dick in my mouth lol
How do we go about approaching people in the swinging scene/ make ourselves seem approachable? I don’t want people to think we’re not into something if we don’t just jump right in, ya know? How do we come off not standoffish? Any advice is greatly appreciated! We need some guidance~ if that isn’t super obvious already…
5 comments
Send it.
One of the biggest skills you can develop for this lifestyle is communication.
Communication between each other to understand your desires, concerns and roadblocks will help you to navigate what will definitely be a tricky process.
Communication with other partners will let you under their needs and desires but also give you the skillset to weed out bad actors in the community, because you’ll develop a healthy vocabulary for consent.
Start googling consent and conflict management techniques (I suggest Brene Brown) and take them on earnest if you value your relationship and the well being of those joining you.
You will have a fight, you’re not demi-god fuck machines, you’re human and someone will get up-set so you need to be ready to handle it like grown ups.
Practically, you can look at online personals (Tinder, Reddit, FetLife) or you can scope out Swinger clubs in your local area.
If you’ve found someone good they’ll hopefully want to talk a lot and take things slow with a new couple, which would be a good sign. Same for any clubs, everywhere you go the first rule should be consent. If it’s not, leave.
Happy fucking.
Going to a local club or party is a great way to start. You don’t even need to play with anyone you can just observe, meet some people and go at your own pace!
Get on the app feeld
Go out to clubs, meet people talk about your want and their own experiences. Before you know you’ll get what you’re looking for