Background: i’ve been with her 2 years and we have had ups and downs, we used to have sex every time we met, then when we would spend long periods of time together it was sporadic and at random times when we were both horny.
She would surprise me with sexy outfits and do sexy things to me in passing.
About a year ago she told me that she is not in to as much as me and likes it special, and every day or every other day is too much and she can’t keep up and feels inadequate.
I understand that she’s not in to it all the time but it was such a difference to the first year or so that it took me back a bit, the way she explains these issues are always serious and full on, i always feel like i’m in the wrong due to the wording and even though she says she will tell me if something is up, situations liek this she will bring up past issues and events which really make me question her words vs actions.
Recently we were doing sexy things together, she was naked in a sexy outfit and i took photos, this was so intense and in the past she seems to get very annoyed if i mention anything sexual. So i’m confused and in a weird uneasy mind state and i involuntary make a exhaling sound to try and cool off how horny i am and where my mind is going.
Later that night she is sitting over my hips facing me fully clothed with her legs open over my genitals and i get hard due to the situation. She starts to shout at me and makes a huge issue out of it which leads on to a deep intense discussion on how i turn everything sexual.
We spent all weekend together and yesterday apart from 2 small parts of the day i was not sexual towards her or thinking sexually.
I don’t feel like my libido is high, i could have sex everyday and i can masturbate daily if i need too, but i want to do that to keep my body knowing that i’m sexually active and not to lose it (stupid though process i know)
I feel like i’m being told off in anger when my body is doing natural things and at natural times.
Recently she has been hit with a lot of issues and it’s causing her to not feel energetic, i understand this and i’m trying to help her in every way i can.
I just don’t know how i feel about basically changing myself and the automatic natural ways i think about naked sexy bodies and what i would call normal times to feel horny when she thinks i’m either being way too over the top or i’m picking the wrong times for my body to be aroused.
How do i deal with this and how do i come to terms with her thinking of me in a bad light for something so natural?
TL:DR GF is annoyed when i get horny and aroused around her when she is purposely doing sexy things or touching me in sexual ways. How do i deal with this and how do i come to terms with her thinking of me in a bad light for something so natural?
2 comments
Good lord.
It’s unusual for me to be the first one on a post.
First of all, your girlfriend is 33. At her age, she should know that arousal is an involuntary response for the most part. We, as humans, have no real control over it.
You need to explain to her that she can’t just shout and scream because you get an erection when she is in a sexual position on your lap.
If she doesn’t want to have sex all the time, that’s fine. However, she shouldn’t get to shame you for exhibiting human behavior.
If she can’t accept it, then maybe it’s time to give some serious thought to ending it. Sex doesn’t always make or break a relationship, but being shamed for wanting to have sex should.
Your girlfriend is an abusive asshole.
The only think that you need to come to terms with is removing her from your life.