I (35F) was SA by my on/off boyfriend (40M) friend (40M) while drinking 6months ago. Boyfriend just found out.

Do I report to the police? How?What do I say? How do I handle this with my guy since we have been seeing each other again? He may never even talk to me again.

I (35F) have had a tumultuous 5 year relationship with my guy let’s call him A (40M). He is an alcoholic and we broke up two years ago for his cheating. He is now 4 months sober and has changed so much. In the way he talks, acts, goes to meetings every single day and apologizes every day for how he treated me. We aren’t together again but we have been seeing each other. 6 months ago right before he got sober he was coming around still trying to see me even though we weren’t “together “. I don’t drink often just socially (low tolerance for me drunk easily) Friday night, He came over with one of his friends “B”(40M) with some beer and vodka , I cooked some food we were all hanging out. A gets a phone call from “the other woman” and he is entirely drunk and picks a fight with me and leaves (to go see her). B hangs around and immediately tries to become the shoulder to cry on (as I’m crying) and I ask him to leave. I had my sister pick me up as I was sobbing over A and I didn’t want to be alone. I sleep it off on her couch. I wake up to texts from B saying he left his wallet at my place. My doorbell camera shows him coming back twice at 2am but I had already left for the night. So I get home Saturday afternoon and spent the day on my couch with chips and more vodka because yes I was in a bad place. Saturday evening B texts me to come get his wallet he left. He arrives and he joins me in drinking. He is shit talking A how he always cheats on me, I need to let him go, you know. At some point he leaves to go get cigarettes. I am so drunk I remember walking him out to the front door (you can see on my doorbell cam) and I can’t even stand straight. He was (looking) more sober than I was. I went inside and went back to the couch and passed out.

I woke up in my bed next day with no pants on. I had been wearing sweatpants and a tank top, bottoms completely gone. I had also pissed my bed. I have never done this before. My doorbell cam shows B returning and letting himself in. I texted B asking why I was in my room with no pants when I passed out on the couch and he replied “you don’t remember me making you squirt?” I was shocked because the last thing I remember was passing out on the couch. I replied “No?! That did not happen “ and he said “yes you loved it”. I was in such shock and confusion. I had no recollection. (I don’t “squirt” and don’t know how too). I have trauma from childhood SA and have also been sexually assaulted before involving being drugged in my early 20s. To say I didn’t know how to handle it is an understatement. I replied with an “Lol” of some sort and just repeated I don’t remember any of that at all. He tried to get me to hangout a week later and I declined. Have not seen him since.

Now, A calls me tonight and says he is shaking. I ask why and he says look at your phone. A sent me a screenshot of a text from B saying “good talk you never cared about me or how I’m doing so much for being my rock bro! FYI I fucked OP.” I said wow. So, no that did not happen but I do think he assaulted me. And I told him what happened (same thing here in my post about that night). He was calm and said thank you for telling me the truth, I don’t love you any less but need to sleep on this and tell my sponsor because I don’t know how to handle this. He said I should have called the police and I said I didn’t know what to do. We said I love yous and he said he would call me tomorrow.

I had compacted and tucked this whole situation away. I haven’t even thought about it. I certainly didn’t think A was going to get sober and I have a history of abuse and have never dealt with it. Should I still call the police? I fee stupid and sick. Sorry for so long.