my bf (29m) thinks I’m (33f) cheating. We have been together for almost 8 months. The other night he said he heard me calling out someone else’s name during sex. He addressed it a day later by telling me while we were both drinking. I was shocked and hurt because there is no other person in my life besides him. I tried telling him that and that I didn’t even say someone else’s name. He said i was gaslighting him which wasn’t my intention because I really believe he misheard me. I reacted poorly and emotionally by breaking things because I was angry and hurt that he would even consider I would cheat. He said he didn’t really care about the fact that I called someone else’s name out, but I’m for sure guilty because of how I reacted. I admit, yes I shouldn’t have lashed out, but I just couldn’t believe he would consider I’m cheating given he has my location, my phone passcode, and I open my social media accounts in front of him openly. We fall asleep together every night and wake up together every morning. Do I sound guilty of cheating? I know I’m not, however I’m just looking for perspectives from others besides my friends and people who know me. He said he’s asked advice from 3 people and they all say I’m guilty based off my poor reaction of breaking things. If that’s how I look to people he asked and if he doesn’t trust me, that’s on me because I’m aware I reacted poorly. I’m not blaming being under the influence, but I admit it added to my emotional rage.
TLDR: do I sound guilty based off my reaction of him telling me he heard me call out someone’s name during sex?
4 comments
Why are you still with him? He told you that he thinks you lack the self-control and self-respect required to remain faithful.
Tbh, there is a real problem when someone in the relationship relies on people outside of the relationship to tell him who you are, and then come up to you and be like “see? See?! It’s true because I told Billy, Bobby, and John my perspective of the story and they said you’re a bad person so nananana boo boo”.
The buck stops here, the guy almost sounds like he is trying to make it real by grabbing at straws, trying to decipher reactions that mean jack squat. I would outlash like you did as well if someone accused me of that and kept smearing it in my face when I know I am an honest and loyal person.
Well if i thought i heard my partner say a different name during sex i’d definitely have questions. But i find it strange why he continued having sex when he heard the (alleged) name?..
Couldn’t it be that you fantasized about someone? Maybe a celebrity or co-worker etc and you accidently said their name?
And how did he bring it up to you? Rationally or plain angry?
Have you considered that maybe you didn’t call out anyone’s name and instead he is gaslighting you?