What is the dating pool like once you get into your 30s?

47 comments

  2. I honestly had a great time dating in my 30s and ultimately found an amazing partner I want to spend the rest of my life with. A lot of the attention I got was from women in their mid-late 20s because (quoting them here) guys their age are undatable, but I dated a few lovely women in their 30s too. If you can’t attract a quality partner, it’s time to consider whether or not you yourself are a quality partner.

  4. If you worked on yourself, your value goes up every year.

    Therefore the number of women available is increased, now women in their 20s, 30s and 40s show interest.

  5. It shrinks, but the one’s you get is actually attracted to you. If you workout, the quality is even higher.

    Went to a date last weekend, expecting nothing.

    I did the bare minimum – only talking whatever came into my mind. After finding a place to sit on the beach, she initiate and kissed me. She did stuff to me without even asking. Was very comfortable, I had zero pressure to perform or to “impress”.

    Once a girl is attracted to you, everything is easier. You come for a really good ride.

  6. To be honest, it’s AWESOME.

    The pretty women who never noticed you in high school or college suddenly realise their time is running out to find a good man, and if you have your shit together you are GOLD.

    I’m in my 40’s and turning away pretty women left, right and center.

  7. Well if it was a pool: The water seems deeper, but it’s much dirtier and often filled with kids. You can see the 20’s pool from where you’re at, but if you try to swim over there most everybody will give you dirty looks. You can also see the over 40 deep end but try not to look directly at it.

  8. I actually have found the opposite. I recently moved to LA and turned 30 in may and I’ve never gotten so many matches on the dating apps.

    It does help I just moved to a major city tho

  9. Dating pool is pretty big but the marriage or wife pool is nonexistent or so filled with traps it’s not worth it.

  10. Lots of kids there and they are all peeing in it.

    There are some things that make it better than dating in your 20’s. There are a lot of things that make it way worse. I personally have no desire to have kids or be with anyone with kids, so it’s a lot more bad than good.

  11. There’s a window where it opens up. Women are getting divorced, and their kids are moving out, assuming they aren’t sticking around into their mid-20s like a psychopath. But, older women come with ex-husband baby daddy baggage. Be prepared. But, most older guys aren’t pulling 19-year old tail. Get that out of your head.

  12. I am married happily, but I notice women in their 30’s and 40’s flirting with me constantly. I have a good job and side business, I’m clean, I have hobbies.

    If u have ur shit together, it’s probably great. Keep your hair cut clean, your facial hair kept nicely, smile, and wear decent clothes. That’s the bar for a first date.

  15. As a man? It’s stellar! Had more interest, more dates, better dates and better girlfriends (more interesting, more fun without the critical eyes all the time, they had much less need for alcohol (I very rarely drink), and better communication).

    Since I’m not a drinker, average looks, average income, but (apparently) charming, intelligent & thoughtful, fit, and good conversationalist and listener, I had no dates in high school. Married my college girlfriend and divorced.

    In my 30’s I found that many more women were looking to get out of the house and do fun things with me. It was great! Continued to my mid-40’s. During that time I was engaged once, had two other 3 year relationships, and now am dating one woman for 18 months and it’s going well – she’s great, and we’re great together.

    Oh, and – if it fits your life plans I highly recommend getting in shape or staying in shape, and getting a vasectomy.

  16. 33 here, slightly above average looking but I’m a single dad so I dunno if those cancel out.

    I’m having more success in my 30s than 20s because I’ve worked on myself more. I’m a way better person so the energy I put out attracts other people with a good energy.

  17. If you’re a man in his 30s and you have a decent career, a full head of hair, are 5’9″+, aren’t fat (a dad bod is fine) the dating world is your oyster. Even if you only check 3 of those boxes (example: you’re bald, or short) you’re still golden.

    I watched friends who were super awkward and barely dated in our 20s suddenly have decent looking late 20s and early 30s women throw themselves at them.

  18. Love it. I feel way better being around women with realistic expectations.

  21. My 30s have been exponentially better when it comes to dating and being ‘choosy’ about the women I give my time to. I can fairly comfortably dip into the 20s age group (generally 26+) and have the disposable income to take them out for a good time, give them that adrenaline experience of riding a motorcycle, etc.

    I’m in decent shape. I have hobbies that are varied (motorcycles, gaming, reading, hiking, skateboarding more recently). I have a career that isn’t dead end, and currently only need to work part time to pay all my bills. Have my own house. I am well groomed (haircut every two weeks, trim the nose hairs, stay clean shaven, dry clean, iron, etc) I’ve grown into my personality and own it and am more confident and assertive. I have no kids, but a couple of dogs that women adore. Plus the vasectomy is a bonus.

    There are some struggles though. Lots of Single Moms. Lots of damage/baggage. OLD profiles are generic (much like mens). There can be some entitlement that is hard to work with. Lotta women seem to have ‘checklists’ a man must meet by the end of the first date or shes not feeling it, etc.

  25. I used to be “with it”. Then they changed what “it” was. Now what I’m with isn’t “it”, and what “it” is seems weird and scary to me…

  26. I had a blast a few years ago. I was very surprised because most of my life I hadn’t really dated and didn’t think I would have much success at it. Never really got approached or much in the way of clear signals from women that I could tell.

    Started up Tinder in my 30’s and was surprised by how many good women I ended up dating. Sometimes it felt like you were fighting the algo, but I slept with and dated with more women in my early 30’s than in my entire life. Good times. Taking a break now though. Havn’t been interested in dating for over a year now.

    It was my experience aswell that not only are the women your own age and older an option, (lots of single moms and angry feminists which I’ve always avoided) but for the first time in my life also younger women. That was a surprise. Basically doubled my dating pool seemingly overnight.

    It’s strange that young guys aren’t told that. Wasn’t it a thing in the past? I always assumed that what dating was like in your 20’s was basically your lot in life.

  27. Plenty of options , wider range of women are interested in you but if you know what you want it gets harder to find right partner.

  28. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, I work out lost a lot of weight, eat healthy, got a career, been trying to work on myself as much as I can

    just wish things weren’t so expensive I’d go out more

  29. I’m 29. It’s a barren wasteland. I’ve been working on myself since 24 when I broke up with my last GF over the fact that I take a risk on a startup I founded. Haven’t gone on a date I enjoyed since then.

    I’m now at the helm of another startup, I’ve made exceptionally good money for my age, I’m in some of the best shape of my life, not ugly, I have been highly selective about my lifestyle and friend group choices and how I spend my time. Idk I think this shit about high value is bullshit. You need to be high value and not day to day running stuff imho. Aka high value lifestyle, not the work responsibility that comes with it.

    I do well with FWBs, but when it comes to dates it’s like I’m non existent. Good to hear from some of you guys that 30s get better. It’s exhausting trying to be open to dating and running a company/ managing employees and stakeholders and all that nonsense.

    Tired of even trying to date but want kids. Smfh

  33. If you are a decent/good looking guy with a job, in good shape, and bonus points- a house. You are going to absolutely clean up. I have several friends in their 40s that go on 4-5 dates a week.

  34. There’s a bunch of single mothers that side stepped you all of a sudden interested

  35. Great. You can date girls in 20s and 30s. It has been the easiest dating age in my life.

  36. A man’s dating pool seems to be at its largest and most varied in his 30s.

    Who you choose to be with depends on how much you’ve matured.

  38. I mean, it’s either “Marry me now no sex” or “I have a bunch of kids better marry me now”.

    All joking aside, I think it’s easier since it’s less games as long as you know what types to avoid. Anyone with a ticking clock is an automatic nope for me. Anyone who seems entitled also gets a nope. You want to find someone who’s been through some stuff and knows what not to do again.

  39. If you’re a man, it’s pretty much unlimited, if your a woman, all the leftover men that women In their 20’s don’t want.

  41. It gets far worse in your 30s. The quality of women along with all the baggage they bring is mostly unforgivable.

    That’s why some men in their 30s try to go for women in their 20s.

  42. For men that is your prime dating age. You finally have some financial stability. Just realize the better pool for dating is women in the 20s.

  43. Royally fucked. Do you want the fat girl who has a kid of every colour with no dads in the picture? The girl who’s hot as hell but has been plugged more than an arena toilet? Or the reformed drug addict trying to make a solid life change by becoming a they/them

  46. It went way up for me, lots of matches. I was more mature, women werent into playing games anymore. Lots of dates with no hugr expectations, just having fun, then i met the one.
    Late 20s early 30s was a goldmine for me

  47. The most action and best action came after 30. It’s like… as soon as you get a few silver hairs, chicks hit on you. I’ve had 19 years olds approach me and I’m 46! All of this depends somewhat on you though. I’m hot and have my shit together, I’m not sure the circumstance is the same if you’re 30+ and still living at your parents’ house.

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