For context we have been dating for a few months, we don’t live together.
So not too long ago we were about to have sex, we were in the middle of foreplay and I went to give him head.
I literally smelt shit. I kid you not it smelt like someone hadn’t washed their ass for multiple days.
I made a visible disgusted face, which I’m not sure if he saw it.
I came up with an excuse to not continue.
A few days later we’re about to do it again and I go down on him again. I kind of expected it, but was still grossed out when I smelt shit again. He had opened his legs a little and the smell literally waffed into my face.
Now we get to two days ago. We were cuddling and I was laying on him. I snuggled in a bit and got a genuine whiff of poo. I had to like take a second to pause since my head was no where near his ass.
I’ve now realised that he doesn’t really wash his clothes like ever, and I feel like he will put dirty clothes in a pile and then just pick from it when he needs it again.
The smell is ingrained in my nostrils and it’s all I can think about. I feel less attracted to him, and I have no clue what to do.
I need advice on whether I should be straightforward and tell him to wash his ass and clothes. I say this because I know there is no way I can bring this up gently.
Or should I just let it go?
Tldr; bf smells like poo on multiple occasions, think he doesnt wash him or his clothes properly, should i tell him he stinks or leave it?
48 comments
Ask him why he smells like shit
Definitely bring it up with him. I wouldn’t be offended if my partner told me I smell. I would be grateful because I don’t want to walk around smelling bad. Its pretty common for guys to not clean themselves properly unfortunately. Hopefully he doesn’t get offended, but if he does then maybe he knows it as well?
Maybe throw a pack of flushable wipes and some laundry detergent on him and he’ll get the hint.
That’s…disgusting.
He’s a grown man. He should know how to wash himself. I’d have a talk with him but if he doesn’t fix something this basic, fast, I’d be on my way out the door.
That is a medical condition called fecal body odor.
Girl break up with him, I don’t think it’s necessary to tell an adult to wash their ass, you’re not his mother. Look for someone who has basic hygiene, it’s not a lot to ask for.
I don’t smell… hit me up
Straight guys don’t know how to wash well? Is he white? I hear many white straight men don’t wash between their butt cheeks, feet and don’t use a loofah, wash cloth and their showers last about 5 minutes.
My 12 year old has better basic hygiene than your 20 year old BF. We always have wipes in our bathroom (yes, my kid likes to feel and smell clean), and we use them if wiping doesn’t cut it.
Definitely have a straightforward talk with him.
Dude needs some Lume
Just curious….have you ever been to his home?
Also, you have to say something. And if you can’t bring yourself to do it, then it’s totally fine to just end it in a nice way. It’s only been a few months.
Ya I think this might be an actual condition called fecal body odor google it
Women’s sense of smell is generally much better than a man’s. Tell him politely he smells a little funky. Ask him to shower, put some fresh clothes on. He might not know, it could be a simple fix.
Surely he is aware ? Tell him to wash his ass !!!! Fuck that
Honestly I’m old and don’t have patience and I’d dump his smelly ass. Not smelling like shit is pretty much the bare fucking minimum.
Need an update on this
I could not and would not deal with a shitty smelling man.
I know it’ll be difficult, but you should tell him. You’ll be doing him a favor, really. Hopefully, he’s young enough to change.
Tell him. “You need to wipe your ass, at the very least, but you honestly need to shower and wash your nasty clothes. You smell like literal shit.”
Then break up with him and don’t date men who can’t wipe their ass or shower.
Tell him!
Disgusting anecdote: I had a similar issue. Girl went down on me and had a similar complaint. Problem? After finishing in the bathroom, there are still poop particles from the water or the “explosions” that stick to parts of the exposed skin that don’t get cleaned with the bidet or wiping.
He needs to clean better and definitely needs to understand that showering is a MUST before sex.
He won’t learn unless you embarrass him a little. Humans learn quickly from a little embarrassment.
Another point, when I was a kid in first grade I didn’t wipe enough. Somehow word got out and a kid at school made fun of me. I was so embarrassed that from that forward I was plugging toilets up from too much toilet paper.
Girl, this man literally can’t wipe his own ass at 20 years old and you’re thinking of staying with him?!
Please stop having sex with him until he cleans himself. You are going to end up with a raging UTI and potential for a kidney infection.
I have literally never smelled shit on someone with proper hygiene habits.
You are way too young to settle for someone who doesn’t practice basic hygiene.
That’s nasty girl if you try to fix that even if you succeed there are probably a lot of other things you’d end up wanting to fix lol.
Gagged please tell him straight up because just imagining his dick with poo sprinkles on it makes me sick.
Fat 29M here
I can’t stand having BO. I take lots of precautions to not smell. I shower daily and make sure to thoroughly wash my junk etc. When it comes to sex I shower beforehand every single time because my biggest fear is the person I’m with making a face because I stink. I’ve done it to woman before when they smell down there and I felt like such an ass for making the face but it just kinda happened. (thank God I’ve never been called on it before.)
I would be blunt with your BF and tell him “hey BF, you smell bad and we need to fix that immediately because it’s having a negative effect on our relationship.”
*Should I just let it go?* she asks.
No. You should not let it go. You could let *him* go if you would like.
Ultimately you need to decide if this is something he can bounce back from in your eyes or if you are too grossed out to be attracted to him still. I guess I can see it going either way there.
If you don’t want to continue seeing him, the respectful thing to do is tell him. “Every time we’ve been intimate for the last month, I smell a pretty bad odor coming from you. I don’t want to hurt or embarrass you but it’s really killed my desire to be with you to the point where I don’t think we can bounce back from this. I wish you well and I hope you can address it and resolve it.” And you’re over.
If you want to continue dating him, you sit him down, quietly and away from others. You tell him “lately during intimate moments, there has been a pretty bad odor coming from you. I don’t want to hurt or embarrass you, however I need this to change immediately. I don’t know if the issue is detergent related, frequency of laundering clothes or washing your body, or if it’s your diet, or a medical condition. We can discuss it further if you would like. I just really need you to hear me on this because it cannot continue as is, and I would like to continue seeing you.”
After that it’s in his court. If he gets defensive and makes excuses instead of attempting changes, wish him well and tell him the relationship is over. If he makes a sincere effort, it should get better. If it doesn’t, encourage him to go to the doctor to figure it out.
I want to take seriously this post, but he is 20 years old and doesn’t know how to wipe his asshole? At this point, I would advise you to tell him what’s the situation. Yeah, it might be an uncomfortable moment but you are the person that he likes and you like him back. You telling this type of thing shouldn’t be a problem if there is trust and love.
There’s no nice and easy way to have this conversation. You can always open it up with “I care about you a lot, so I don’t want to offend you, but there’s something I think we should talk about” and then go from there. Smelling nice is such an important thing in a relationship. It can really make or break chemistry. Maybe if he understands that, he’ll actually wash his ass and clothes on a regular basis.
A 20 year old dude who doesn’t keep himself fellatio-ready at all times does not deserve fellatio. Find you a clean fella whose junk smells of cotton candy.
And readers, if you don’t have a bidet you do not know what you’re missing! Seriously, takes your hygiene game to the next level. They’re like $40 on Amazon and attach right to your toilet. (But still shower if you expect to be gone down upon.)
There needs to be an ad campaign for dudes everywhere. They literally think if 4 droplets of water trickle down their crack that their ass is washed. No. Get soap, body wash and a washrag, pouf or whatever method you prefer and literally soap up your entire outer ass, the inner asscrack, around the asshole, middle regions (taint) wash, soap, rinse. Probably repeat for some of you extra smelly guys … 🤦🏻♀️
I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. I’d definitely ghost him until he learnt how to wash his own asshole.
Everyone needs to stop dating men who don’t wash their asses. Wtf…
Let it go and do what exactly?
Tell him that he’d better clean up his act (and potentially his ass too if that’s the problem) or you two are done.
We see pretty easy to talk to, just yell him he probably thinks that turns u on, tell him he smells
Why are you dating a guy that doesn’t clean or wash his clothes wtf 😭
I’m mortified to report that I was once in your exact situation, around the same age actually which is now a long ass time ago. I was so insecure and afraid of confronting it directly that instead I tried to kind of passively hinting at it, took it upon myself to do some of his laundry, sneakily suggested showers before sex etc.
Mortified to also report I somehow wasted almost two years dating this fella whose lack of hygiene was only one of his numerous problems.
Looking back at it now, I want to reach back in time to slap myself in the face and tell my past self GTFO.
I think you have two choices that in my opinion are equally as valid because you don’t owe this man any parenting:
– Break up and cut your losses
– Use your words, tell him clearly and directly but kindly. If he’s unwilling to listen and take action from there, break up
Don’t waste your time on raising a grown man.
You Westerners should wash your asses instead of wiping it. Im talking after going to bathroom.
Speaking from experience.. say something now and be prepared for it to not change. Also, do NOT stay with someone with bad hygiene. It’s disgusting
If he’s letting you try sexual acts in that poor of hygiene, I wouldn’t even bother anymore.
Gross.
Some men think assholes are dirty so they SHOULD NOT wash them thoroughly in the shower. Their logic is astounding.
The number of people (mostly men, if you go by reddit posts) who don’t know how to properly wipe their butts is, frankly, astounding. Tell him he smells and needs to wipe his butt, and wash himself and his clothes better because it’s gross. One time. If he doesn’t take care of it, move on. Send him back to his mom because he needs more training.
Tell him to squat down and wash his ass everyday. Or break up.
Be honest tell him that he smells and needs to take better care for you to engage in sex because you could get an infection from him otherwise. Also. There is a disorder that causes people to smell like poo so he may also need to go to a doc if he is doing all the things he needs to.
Gross dude. Your dating a shitty poo poo pants toddler.
Gross, dump him!
Life’s too short to have sex with someone who never learned to clean themselves.