28(M) I’m so tired of this fucked up dating world, I gave so much time and so much energy, first of trying to find someone, then found someone I finally click with, invest so much time and energy into the relationship with them, so understanding, really felt like we understood eachother and finally open myself up to the possibility of love again, then bam, it’s over, even my best isn’t good enough for them. Now gotta heal and prepare myself to start that endless cycle all over again.
Rant over.
5 comments
Yeaaah im in the same boat too! I’ve deleted all of my apps. I’ve come to realise that I’ve been putting too much effort into something that isn’t benefiting me at the moment. It’s been taking a toll on me too. So what should you do? I suggest taking a break and hitting the pause button for a little while. It’s great to learn how to appreciate your own company. Don’t forget to also spend time with your friends and engage in activities that bring you joy. Time is a healer. Give it a while and let yourself feel your emotions, but don’t dwell in it for too long. Like i said, give it time. You’ll know yourself when you’re ready.
Boy does it feel strange to be single again. I can sympathise – it’s not easy starting a new dating life. All I can say is to have faith – it will get easier if you’re patient.
I know — sometimes I feel like I’d much rather preferred to be born in a period where dating apps weren’t the mainstream. But then again, that period probably has got its own fair share of pros and cons too. Men and women would still be cheating or ghosting, it’ll probably be a lot harder to catch, yada yada.
Give yourself a break, yeah? Don’t be too hard on yourself. 27F here, been single 6 years. Invested in a few men along the way, amounted to nothing. Well, not nothing. I learned a bit about myself along the way too.
They say enjoy the ride (as a single person). I say do whatever you want.
I don’t know how long your relationship was but I definitely empathize with you. I just had a breakup after 3.5 years.
I want to offer some things I have learned along the way which may make for better odds of finding the right partner
Build the friendship first. You have to establish a base honesty and trust. Without that, the relationship is valueless. Let romance follow organically. ( If it is mostly a physical attraction, the attraction will eventually wear off. Also what are you going to talk about after sex? )
Have a path to conflict resolution – (you have to be able to work through problems together and resolve them to move forward)
Make sure you really enjoy each others company… The true test comes when you are at your worst, and how you interact to keep things harmonious between you.
Sorry you’re going through this. I’m recently single after 10 years, and the transition has not been easy.
Like others have mentioned, time helps. But it’s not a straight line. You will have ups and downs. Progress and steps back. But try and not those downs stop you from healing. They are a part of the process, not an end to it.