For some context, I’ve been seeing this man pretty On/off for over a year now. In the begining he really chased me & wanted a relationship but i had just got out of one and not ready to continue moving forward. When i told him this, we cut contact and stopped speaking for 5 months.
We reconnected this past June when i saw him at event. I knew I still had feelings for him and was in a much healthier head space to start a genuine relationship. When I admitted this to him, we decided we could start as “friends” and just see where it went because he was not ready for a relationship now and i had previously really hurt him the previous year. As “friends” we started hooking up, texting everyday, calling, going on dates, spending weekends with each other and we stated we would not be seeing / hooking up with others out of respect.
This past week, i found out he had been sexting other women, and had attempted to make plans with them. I asked him straight up if he had been talking to other girls or had intentions of that, he lied to my face. Granted we are not in a relationship, but the principle of agreeing to exclusivity and then lying about it was tough.
So i left, sent him a text asking if that is where he’s at in his life and if he wants to continue to explore his options with women because that’s fine i just don’t want to be apart of that. told him to genuinely think about it and let me know.
Its now been 4 days of radio silence, with no response. Little confused on if i should nudge him again or just fully walk away. Be as harsh as needed, any advice appreciated.
TL;DR: found out the (28M) man I’ve (24F) been seeing was sexting other women and making plans with them when we had agreed to exclusivity. Lied when confronted, and now has left me on read when I asked him to think about it & let me know if he’s looking to continue exploring his options. Advice? Do i just walk away?
3 comments
>I’ve been seeing this man pretty On/off for over a year now
Not a great sign.
>We reconnected this past June when i saw him at event. I knew I still had feelings for him and was in a much healthier head space to start a genuine relationship. When I admitted this to him, we decided we could start as “friends” and just see where it went because he was not ready for a relationship now
“We” didn’t decide to start as friends and see how things go. He didn’t want to be in a relationship; you did. So you accepted what he was offering, hoping it would go somewhere good. You should have declined that offer and walked away. Instead…
>As “friends” we started hooking up, texting everyday, calling, going on dates, spending weekends with each other
Of course you did.
>we stated we would not be seeing / hooking up with others out of respect.
He lied to you; I’m sorry. He told you the truth about his intentions in the beginning, though, and he’s probably relying on that to justify his subsequent behaviors.
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>So i left, sent him a text asking if that is where he’s at in his life and if he wants to continue to explore his options with women because that’s fine i just don’t want to be apart of that. told him to genuinely think about it and let me know.
Good, you left.
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>Its now been 4 days of radio silence, with no response. Little confused on if i should nudge him again or just fully walk away.
What? Why are you expecting a response and why are you confused? First, you already walked away, as you should have. Second, “Think about whether you want to keep sexting and seeing these other women and let me know if you change your mind” is pretty weak tea. That’s *obviously* what he wants to keep doing since he was doing it all along! So that’s a wrap on you two as any sort of couple.
Why do you want to “nudge” him? It sounds like you asked him a rhetorical question that doesn’t require a response. Do you really want to be like, “Um, excuse me, but have you definitely, officially, for sure for sure decided you want to continue to see these other people and not me? That’s a hard no?” Girl, please have some dignity.
His silence is his answer so listen to him.
Absolutely not. You said your piece and the balls in his court. I wouldn’t expect to hear from him. And I wouldn’t want to.