So it finally happened. I’ve been going through a tough, stressful time in work and personal life for a while now and just knew that today would be the day when I break.
I want to get back to feeling like myself, I just feel so lost and defeated at the moment. Any help/advice is much appreciated.
Edit: so I’ve just woken up to 300+ comments. I promise I will read through them. Thank you for all the amazing advice brothers. It’s reassuring that there are things I can do to address my mental health. Thank you and stay strong all of you
50 comments
Professional help. I’ve been there my friend. It’s not the most pleasant experience- but seeking help from others is the most responsible and best way to approach things like this
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to scream into the void. It’s okay to talk to someone.
Sometimes it be like that- if you don’t have someone to talk to need to find one. That could be a therapist, a lifelong non-judge mental friend, or your life partner.
Sometimes it’s good to have all 3 since that have different views.
Forgive yourself completely and thoroughly. Then let your emotions tell you what’s wrong
Let yourself feel how you need to feel. Crying is ok. If you have people in your life you trust and love, reach out to them and I promise you, they will be there to help you. Most importantly, remember that it will get better! Stay strong, man
Oh god, I went through this in the middle of the pandemic and it’s fucking awful. It is trash. Pure and simple. If you have the means to talk to a professional, please do. If not, try looking up Russ Harris and other mindfulness exercises, (leaves on the stream) is a classic. There are also podcasts about anxiety that can be very helpful. I’ve been there but there is light on the other side, even if you can’t see it yet.
Deal with it by being productive. Find a small attainable goal and work to accomplish it. Then another, then another.
Work with a therapist. Follow their advice. Then keep working to be productive.
Having someone to talk shit through with.
Be it a family member, a friend, or a therapist.
Talking is a relief valve for the pressures of life.
I usually just turn my music louder
Do something that YOU want to do for fun.
Self care is incredibly important when you’re feeling down.
What I do is, I try to talk about it. I try to rationalize my emotions. At the same time, I don’t do that too much. Sometimes emotions don’t make sense. If you try too much to make sense of them, you will enter a cycle of overanalyzing that makes you relieve all of the things that are weighing on you.
It helps to see emotions as energies. They come and go. You need to accept them. At the same time, do not humor them too much. I’ve known so many people who let their emotions dictate their lives because they try too much to make sense of every feeling that they feel. Just go with the flow. Let it go. Talk about it when needed. Take some space and distract yourself.
The most helpful thing is time. Time heals most things. Most things in life are temporary. Hold on to this. The feeling of hope and positivity that it brings is enough to cure most negative feelings. Good luck to you brother!
Make yourself eat, even if you don’t feel like it. And eat nutritious, healthy things. You’re eating to recover and take care of yourself, not for fun
obv this isn’t the only thing, and therapy would definitely be helpful if you have access to it, but this helped me a lot when I went through a major mental breakdown/depressive episode for about a week straight a few months back. Like it sounds so dumb but it genuinely does help on a biological level, which then extends to a mental level.
It won’t magically fix everything but starving yourself or eating junk at a time like this is guaranteed to make you feel worse
This song also helped motivate me/keep my mindset from getting worse during all of that. It’s really goofy and it probably won’t work for everyone, just sharing what helped me and maybe it’ll help you.
https://youtu.be/or3aeINvJEg
Reaching out in any way, even on reddit is good btw. If you have any friends you trust spending time with them once you’re able to may be good for you, even if you’re just in the same room together not really hanging out and doing anything
F here but at age 43 I’m really feeling this. I worked so hard to get to where I’m at, have a great career, making the most I’ve ever made, yet I’m soooooooo unhappy. I actually hate my job. I remain youthful, take care of my looks, I actively show interest in the men I like and they still take me for granted. I’m literally at a point where I don’t know what I live for anymore. I’d done the whole independent, content on your own thing for a long time; traveled, stayed active etc etc. I think I’m just gonna have to go on a hoe phase. What other option is left?
I go to the shooting range with some pumpkins and my shotgun. Very calming and satisfying to pop some pumpkins.
I’m at the same point wondering the same thing. I just applied for Short Term disability from work. I’m sitting here, I don’t know what to do next.
Sometimes breakdowns are good. By that I mean you can learn a lot, i had something like that when i was super depressed and it gave me a new perspective and I have kinda loosened my need for control. I spent a lot of time upset that I wasnt this way or that way, that I couldnt do things others could or being ashamed of my insecurities.
I didnt go back to the way I used to be and I am grateful for that. We are never guaranteed another day on this planet, live accordingly.
Remind myself all things are temporary. Remember nobody is coming to save me. Fortify inner strength. Keep going.
I haven’t. It’s been 8 years. Apathy is all I have now. Hopefully, you will recover.
A few months ago I lost my girlfriend, my home, my family, my friends, and my job. Everything that I had been working towards and was trying to accomplish, gone, and I had no one to blame but myself.
I looked at it as a chance to be able to grow. I looked up quotes to help me grapple with my reality. This is the world I built for myself, I had to learn to live in it. It’s okay to go insane sometimes, as long as you come back.
Every chapter of our lives can only be lived once, so take the time to press the pages down, read between the lines, take every word in and savor it; close your eyes and remember each sentence… and when it’s time, turn the page and start the next one.
I was in a really rough spot a few years ago. My anxiety had devolved into panic attacks and a really deep depression. There were times I didn’t want to be alive anymore. It was miserable. I had, in a way, started saying goodbye to people because I didn’t know how it would all end.
I went through a bit of a midlife crisis. I moved across the country just to feel like I had control over my life. It was a bit foolish but I’m glad I did it. Driving across the country and seeing all these different places was a really spiritual experience and it helped me a lot.
I eventually moved back to be close to family after a year, and I went to therapy, got medicated and started going to the gym. Now I look back at my times of misery and it’s in my rear view mirror. I feel like I can finally be the person I was meant to be.
If I had to summarize it, you need to really take a good, long hard look in the mirror and take stock of what you don’t like about yourself and your life. Challenge yourself to change. Go to therapy. Understand that you are the most important person in your life. Other people come and go. You’ll change jobs. Your interests will fluctuate. It’s all okay. You can live a happier life. You just have to make it a priority.
I agree you need professional help
Here with you right now brother. Harm reduction, hydration, boundaries with loved ones, and forgiveness- my mantra right now for what it’s worth.
So, I had a breakdown once. Short version, was going to unalive, went missing, police found me in garage, I shot a warning shot. All hell broke loose. 2 hour standoff. Amused myself with the comically stereotypical phone call negotiation. Ran out of cigs. Proceeded to try to negotiate cig delivery. Failed. Negotiated surrender, again, for cigs. Came out of garage, thought I was about to get shot. Didn’t.
I ended up spending a week in mental hospital and, honestly, it was really nice. I just needed a reset. Came out like a week later and felt better than I ever have.
Sometimes you just need a break or a serious change of scenery to get your mind right.
I would not recommend doing it how i did.
Edit: The best part was realizing that I didn’t actually want to die. Or at least proving to my own ego that I was too scared to ever do it.
If I couldn’t pull the trigger in that scenario, I never would. It was an insane reality check.
Exercise Exercise Exercise and get outside
1 year from my mental breakdown.
Still no better.
Reach out to any services available. Do you have a spouse or loved one you trust? Lean on them, they should help.
Last time was alcohol, lots and lots of alcohol. Weeds nice too on occasion. I prefer to act like my problems solve themselves if I ignore them long enough, which they tend to do most of the time
Do you happen to have any “it is what it is” on hand?
Walk away, cry, talk to a loved one. You are allowed to feel feelings like everyone else. Its ok ❤️
I reached out to my friends. We started playing D&D every week over discord and Roll 20 because we all lived in different states. It took a few months, but they helped pull me out of depression.
Ok to cry. Then maybe consider mushrooms.
I was taking ssris for a couple years for similar reasons and was able to get away from them with microdosing.
Some mushrooms at low dose can really take the edge off with no down side. Can microdose for a day or to or a month. Then stop and you’ll feel fine.
There’s things to work through. These can help get rid of the unpleasant feeling and help you move forward without any of what happens to people when they start drinking in your situation.
Good luck.
Don’t hold it in go and get a counsellor and work on yourself it may be slow but uts for the better.
Ur lucky u relasied this early and don’t go too far and hols it.
It’s not good for ur mental health and this si comming from someone who held it in for years and ugbored my feelings I eventually started having suicidal thoughts and nealry attempted it but after a few years of counselling now I feel like my life is slowly getting better although it’s slow.
Bro I really feel this. I’ve been to the point where I just didn’t know if I had it in me to get back up if I got kicked down one more time. It is so so tough, this world can be so heartless and brutal! We all have a breaking point, we’re only human!
But pain can be a great teacher… if we listen to it! What are we running so hard to achieve? What ideas have we accepted as truth, success, purpose? Where did they come from? In my view, suffering is a symptom of not inquiring into these things for ourselves, and accepting what we may have been told (or sold) about these things.
I don’t don’t have all of the answers my friend, but I do strongly feel that we all should be asking many more questions about what it means to be human on this planet rather than accepting a role we are told to play.
I hope you find some peace and joy my brother, I am with you.
I haven’t been cleared for my mental break down. All the other adults in my house have had theirs. Including hospitalizations, disassociation, and inability to work for extended periods of time. Someone has to be stable. After a while, the self loathing, suicidal ideation and identity struggles just become a constant white noise of my existence. I’m sure if those things weren’t there I’d actually be uncomfortable at this point. I smile, feign okayness, and remain generally functional; meanwhile I acknowledge that happiness is probably an unreasonable expectation.
It took me a while tbh.
It took a year to recover this time. What helped was actually going out and doing stuff. I was kinda forced bc family came to town but it helped so much!
After that I lost 15 pounds, getting out of debt, feeling better.
Others help the most in the time of need. Even if you can’t do it yourself, ask someone to help.
I don’t cry. Mainly because the source of my mental anguish is a very stupid reason. So I jerk off and collapse in the void hoping to forget about said stupid thing and wake up to reality
Therapy. Honestly, it’s worth it bruv. Good luck!
Just need to be alone and get creative.
Make something out of your creative thoughts by using your hands .
Seeing something you built is very fulfilling.
How do you know it’s a full on mental breakdown? how’s it different than just feeling shitty?
Wash your face. Tell yourself that everything in this world is temporary. Tell yourself that it’s going to be ok. Use your brain, stop using using your emotions, and problem solve.
In the middle of all that there may be some screaming, yelling into a pillow, listening to loud music and singing your heart out, and so on so forth
Eat shrooms and spend your trip in nature
Go on vacation, your soul needs a reset/rest.
I try to take a leaf out of Terminator 3. “Anger is more useful than despair”. Turn the negative thoughts and feelings into anger, then find a safe outlet for it. That might be a break room (you go there, pay money, are given an implement like a hammer, and put in a room full of random junk items to smash) or what I do. Hit the bag or the kickshield, unleash the anger on it.
It isnt a permanent solution but it almost always helps enough for me to make more sound decisions to try fix the root cause.
After my first semester of medical school I had a full on breakdown. Really bad fight with my wife (we never yell or get animated during fights, as a rule) and I sobbed for hours. Frankly having that cry and thanking the good Lord that my wife is a forgiving and understanding person is what did it. I changed my shit up and I did quit med school (eventually) and am doing a different health program.
One day at a time. Appreciate the little things, get the right family and friends around you and seek professional help too.
The only way is up
Idk I still haven’t recovered from mine
Sometimes you just need to go sit on a rock in nature and smoke one, or just sit in silence. Either way a little disconnect sometimes goes a long way. Life’s short, enjoy the ride ✌🏼
Beats me. My mental health is destroying my relationships and nothing I’ve tried so far has helped. Meditation, exercise, listening to positive affirmation videos, frequencies, therapy. It’s all failing me. This may be the time to see the doctor to try medication for brain chemistry.
I just want to say Professional help doesn’t always work for everyone. That should (in my opinon) be a last resort.
I just had a pretty bad breakdown today myself. I was in a sleep coma all day today. I got handed some pretty bad news, and I’ve been out of a job.
The first thing I do my friend, is take a good day or two off work, then spend it decompressing at my house. Watching TV, playing games, reading, whatever you do that you enjoy.
Second, I call friends. If you have you some solid friends or family, ask them to hang out with you! I promise you just being by the right folk is healing itself. I can confidently go to my best friend right now and ask them to just hang around. It’s even better if they lend an ear.
Just…don’t do anything to hurt yourself. You’re very important bro. You’re a man, and men can cry too.
[deleted]
Been fighting with the wife for 2 months. I was experiencing severe anxiety that she was cheating on me. I couldn’t shake the feeling. Talking to her talking to a therapist. Started to become paranoid. Started finding things that I could construe as evidence of cheating. Then one fight she had enough. Packed the kids up and left. I found a passport application filled out with Canada on it. She never once said she wanted to go out of country. Said it was from last year and she was looking into see what it took to get one.
I was in such dread there was another man. And I pushed her away. That’s when I had a manic episode and struggled to get by for the last two weeks.
Tomorrow I’m getting evaluated for possibly having bipolar disorder. I’ve taken such shitty care of myself the last few years my brain couldn’t take the stress of her possibly cheating. I’ve been non stop crying and depressed. Hardly any sleep and low appetite. But I’m getting by day by day. Trying to pick up the pieces and save my marriage and family.
Wife isn’t cheating I’m just crazy. So you are not alone in this world man. Just gotta look to your left and right and check in with the guy next to you.
Building upon the excellent answers, Id add the following:
– Firstly, accept that it’s perfectly OK to feel broken, and defeated.
– Secondly, realize that this is also an opportunity; and opportunity to reconsider the way you’ve structured your life and come out more robust on the other side of this.
– Thirdly, accept that it will take the exact amount of time that your soul needs, not longer, not shorter. And no bro-science advice, or actual science for that matter, will make the process any faster.
May life favor you in all matters henceforth!