I’m curious to hear what others think of this story. I like a guy, we had a few great conversations at parties, but I never got his number. We did connect on instagram and chatted for a bit one weekend. We talked about a concert we were both going to. However we didn’t end up running into each other there.
Early the next week I decided I was just going to ask him out and sent him a message saying I found him really interesting and wanted to go out. The message was unread for 5 days and he had been online. I found this weird because we had been talking before. I thought maybe he saw a preview of the message and didn’t want to read it because then he would have to respond or it just got buried in his inbox, which is possible because he has a public profile and gets lots of messages. After 5 days it felt a little silly for it to be there so I deleted it because it was unread anyway. Then I saw him again that weekend at a party. He looked over at me a few times to start a conversation, but I will admit I was a little distant and avoided eye contact. It’s not in my nature to make the first move so it was a big deal to me and I was feeling insecure around him.
The next day I regretted this and wished I had talked to him and asked him out in person especially since there were no plans in the near future where we would run into each other. I decided I wanted to ask him again and while I didn’t have his number, we were in a group chat together. I wanted to text rather than send a message on instagram because I thought that for sure he would see it. Sure enough, I sent a similar text and he hasn’t responded at all. It’s been over a week.
I realize this text could have gotten buried too since I’m not in his contacts. However, it’s hard for me to see him missing both of these messages since I tend to be pretty diligent about making sure my inbox is clear. He is a nice guy and we have mutual friends so I find it hard to believe he would ignore me to be an asshole or even out of awkwardness because we will definitely see each other again. So I think the options would be he’s either missed both these messages and maybe that’s typical for him, or he is interested but is too nervous to reciprocate. I guess there is always the chance he feels uncomfortable responding, but this just doesn’t seem like him. Curious what others think of the situation…
3 comments
Usually (and this is coming from a 36M) I match the energy of the persons I talk with.
if they reply within hours is reasonable no more than 10 hours…. or a justification have to come up. I have days when I am so focused on work that I ignore the messages but not for 5 days…
Picture this you have the phone with you for at least 16 hours during the day. If he liked you or you matter for him. he would have reply within few hours not days.
My recommendation is to move on.
Obviously nobody can factually say, but the likelihood of him not seeing your instagram message and then a text is very low. If I were a betting man I’d not put any money on him not seeing either notification and not seeing either message in the inboxes. Is it possible theoretically he missed both messages? Yup…its also possible I could fall 20 storeys and just break a leg
Chances of not seeing your message for five days are pretty slim, unless he has a super huge followings who message him regularly.