So I want to straight up hook up with pretty ladies; treat them to some lovely romantic nights out and give them a jolly good time while sexually satisfying myself at the same time. For now I’m pretty much only interested in giving rather than receiving, which should make things simpler but it actually doesn’t.
For one, I’m a virgin and afraid I’ll embarrass myself by not knowing something ‘basic’. And I think even reading about people’s experiences and consuming porn does not completely prepare someone for the real experience. In the practical aspects, I can’t think of anything I can possibly prepare with except keep my room clean, put a bit of a romantic vibe, and keep lube and massage oil around.
My biggest worry (and hurdle obviously), is how to approach women in a respectful, honest but chill manner without completely killing the mood. I think it could look like a turn-off if I just straight up wrote on my profiles ‘looking to hookup’. And people in real life don’t have profiles hanging over their heads advertising their intentions. I’m just afraid I’ll completely misjudge a situation and think a lady is into me or into hooking up when she’s not and I’ll get accused of being a predator/manipulative or something.
To elaborate on the last note: I don’t want to sound sexist, but I’ve observed a bit of a problematic habit/bias of women where they hate men even thinking of them sexually when they’re not into them, straight up demonising men for having sexual thoughts about them or wanting hook ups, accusing men of being ‘manipulative’ when they’re not, while said men are being totally respectful of their decisions. I’ve even witnessed this happen between lesbian/bisexual women. I’m bisexual so I know what it means to be desired by men. Before it used to offend and disturb me and then I realised that it was me that was the problem for being so easily disturbed.
7 comments
Just be you my guy. If you just want ass then go get a hooker.
maybe at least lose the vcard before you start planning your life as a major playah!
So you want access to women for their bodies but you think women who take issue with their objectification are problematic?
You realize, objectifying someone isn’t fixed because you brought massage oil right?
Like if you want to hookup with women, go shoot your shot, but you sound like you’re saying I want to hook up with women without being judged for hooking up with women. The fact of the matter is hookup culture is inherently objectifying, and some people are going to feel objectified by it. If you never want to be accused of that, don’t take part. If you want to take part, accept that you want to enjoy the benefits of objectifying these women.
My only real advice is to be kind and treat women as people and respect them. If you approach each conversation genuinely enthusiastic with a desire to learn more about them I’m sure you will find many women willing to share themselves with you emotionally and otherwise.
Lolll
I feel like you think there is some magic formula to get into any woman’s pants. There isn’t. Take woman A. She’s not into hookups. There is no key to unlock her and make her want a hookup. Short of out and out lying and playing her. Don’t do that.
Take woman B. She wants casual sex. She wants one night stands. Be in her path while she’s on the prowl, be her type in appearance and personality, and maybe she will fuck you.
Take woman C. She’s not really actively looking for anything but she might be open to casual sex if the right place and time and man come along.
If you want casual sex then you just need to live your life in a way that will let you find it when it appears. Be on the apps. Talk with women. Flirt. Be open but not creepy. Don’t hover if they are not interested. Be prepared for a lot of rejection. You are grabbing for a needle in a haystack using chopsticks.
If you are using apps, just put that you are looking for fun with no pressure.
If you’re just looking to hook up, get on Tinder and look for women who are also looking to hook up. Talk to them like they’re normal people, and see if you click and both want to meet up. As long as you’re both objectifying each other equally, there’s nothing disrespectful about it.
If you’d rather meet women more organically instead of having Tinder give you a list of who’s DTF… step 1 is forget the sex. Remove it from your mind entirely. Go out and meet women and talk to them like they’re normal people, but unlike Tinder, don’t have sex as your goal. Just enjoy connecting with another human being. If there are sparks, great, it might lead to sex in the future. If not, no big deal. Don’t make it your goal, because that’s when you run into the demonizing and all that.